How we larffed

Monday, December 29th, 2008 12:18 am
caddyman: (Spider-Pig)
I don't feel quite myself...



Greetings Earthlings, from the planet Remulak...

Edited to add: I laughed so hard that I saw spots in front of my eyes. Furtle turned around to see what the fuss was about and just managed a "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" before collapsing into giggles during which she thinks she may have blacked out for a micro second.

How we larffed

Monday, December 29th, 2008 12:18 am
caddyman: (Spider-Pig)
I don't feel quite myself...



Greetings Earthlings, from the planet Remulak...

Edited to add: I laughed so hard that I saw spots in front of my eyes. Furtle turned around to see what the fuss was about and just managed a "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" before collapsing into giggles during which she thinks she may have blacked out for a micro second.
caddyman: (Crivens!)
The BBC website brings us this marvellous cockup from Swansea.

All road signs in Wales are bilingual. Can you guess what's wrong with this residential road sign? Have a guess before you read the article!


"It's good to see people trying to translate but they should really ask for expert help" - Dylan Iorwerth, Golwg magazine
caddyman: (Crivens!)
The BBC website brings us this marvellous cockup from Swansea.

All road signs in Wales are bilingual. Can you guess what's wrong with this residential road sign? Have a guess before you read the article!


"It's good to see people trying to translate but they should really ask for expert help" - Dylan Iorwerth, Golwg magazine

Doing the rounds

Wednesday, September 17th, 2008 08:23 am
caddyman: (Default)
A friend of mine has forwarded one of the emails of supposed kids' exam answers that crops up every few months. Some of the answers seem rather too knowing, but others hit the spot.

This one supposed history answer gets me every time and I don't care if it's real or not. It's funny:

Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by Rubbing two cats backward and also declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." He was a naturalist for sure. Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

Doing the rounds

Wednesday, September 17th, 2008 08:23 am
caddyman: (Default)
A friend of mine has forwarded one of the emails of supposed kids' exam answers that crops up every few months. Some of the answers seem rather too knowing, but others hit the spot.

This one supposed history answer gets me every time and I don't care if it's real or not. It's funny:

Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by Rubbing two cats backward and also declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." He was a naturalist for sure. Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
caddyman: (You there)
Anyway, it turns out that Zinfandel is a grape, not an elf from the First Age of Middle Earth. This is most distressing and next time I play D&D or anything remotely similar, it will be as an elf called by that name and with an alcohol problem.

Can elves be alcoholics?

I rather see him in sitting with a group of other unfortunates in a little sylvan dell with a name that sounds suitably Welsh: Cyn’hoel, or suchlike.

Zinfandel: My name is Zinfandel and I am an alcoholic.
Omnes: Hello, Zinfandel!
Zinfandel: It will be 2,853 years, 4 months, 6 days and 11 hours since my last drink, come midnight next Throckmorton’s Eve.
Omnes: *applause*
Matteus Rosé (a fat friar): Can elves actually become alcoholic?
Zinfandel: Indeed. I assure you that…
Matteus Rosé: In fact, I thought Zinfandel was a grape. What sort of name is that for anybody?
Zinfandel: It was in the last year of the war against the Dark Lord himself that I succumbed. Too many of my kin were slain in that final battle on the fields of…
Matteus Rosé: Are you sure you’re not a grape? Your nose is red enough.
Zinfandel: Now look here, Lardy…
Matteus Rosé: Ooh, lardy-dah. Listen to the pixie with his airs and graces.
Omnes: FIGHT!
Off stage: I'll have a large one!

And now I come to think of it, why is it called a “Chap Stick” if men and women can use it? Isn’t that a bit misleading?
caddyman: (You there)
Anyway, it turns out that Zinfandel is a grape, not an elf from the First Age of Middle Earth. This is most distressing and next time I play D&D or anything remotely similar, it will be as an elf called by that name and with an alcohol problem.

Can elves be alcoholics?

I rather see him in sitting with a group of other unfortunates in a little sylvan dell with a name that sounds suitably Welsh: Cyn’hoel, or suchlike.

Zinfandel: My name is Zinfandel and I am an alcoholic.
Omnes: Hello, Zinfandel!
Zinfandel: It will be 2,853 years, 4 months, 6 days and 11 hours since my last drink, come midnight next Throckmorton’s Eve.
Omnes: *applause*
Matteus Rosé (a fat friar): Can elves actually become alcoholic?
Zinfandel: Indeed. I assure you that…
Matteus Rosé: In fact, I thought Zinfandel was a grape. What sort of name is that for anybody?
Zinfandel: It was in the last year of the war against the Dark Lord himself that I succumbed. Too many of my kin were slain in that final battle on the fields of…
Matteus Rosé: Are you sure you’re not a grape? Your nose is red enough.
Zinfandel: Now look here, Lardy…
Matteus Rosé: Ooh, lardy-dah. Listen to the pixie with his airs and graces.
Omnes: FIGHT!
Off stage: I'll have a large one!

And now I come to think of it, why is it called a “Chap Stick” if men and women can use it? Isn’t that a bit misleading?
caddyman: (Default)
It is a generally accepted fact that roast potatoes are the vegetable in a roast dinner with the highest individual value1. This leads to the necessity for a vegetable exchange rate when there is a paucity of spuds on the menu.

Now if there are four diners and a roast dinner is on the horizon, the well-prepared cook will ensure am equal number of roast potatoes for each person. But what happens when, through some calamity, natural or man-made, there are fifteen roasters? One person will have to make do with three, which is manifestly unfair as the other three have four. Of course, the host will wish to balance the servings by compensating the loser with other vegetables.

Precisely how much broccoli makes up for the missing roaster, or how many peas? Will an additional spoonful of cabbage make up the deficit? Does a roast parsnip equal a roast spud, or is it only 90% of the value and how do you make up the remaining 10% deficit? Then you have veggies so appalling – swede, for example – that adding it is simply heaping insult upon injury. Right thinking people would gladly give up a roaster to do without swede. It is a vegetable so bad that it has a negative value2.

With the roast potato at the top of the roast dinner chain, then, I shall assign it a value of ten. This being the case, what value can we assign to other vegetables? Time, I think, for a poll.

Before we go to the poll, however, I should point out that in this case we are simply considering vegetables and their impact upon the palate; we are not interested in their relative nutritional merits, this is entirely value assigned by taste and smell. Neither are we concerned with meat or fish and certainly not with a Yorkshire Pudding3.


[Poll #1131251]

1By which I mean that it is not a generally accepted fact.

2I shall brook no argument t on this point: swede is vile. If you are odd enough to think otherwise, kindly keep it to yourself. This is a respectable journal.

3The Yorkshire Pudding is that rarity on the dinner plate. It trumps the roast potato. One average sized Yorkshire is worth at least two roasters and as such is an easy way of buying off potato deficits, though again, an imbalance of Yorkshires creates the same concerns one level up. A deficit of both roaster and Yorkshires is unconscionable and the cook should be shot..
caddyman: (Default)
It is a generally accepted fact that roast potatoes are the vegetable in a roast dinner with the highest individual value1. This leads to the necessity for a vegetable exchange rate when there is a paucity of spuds on the menu.

Now if there are four diners and a roast dinner is on the horizon, the well-prepared cook will ensure am equal number of roast potatoes for each person. But what happens when, through some calamity, natural or man-made, there are fifteen roasters? One person will have to make do with three, which is manifestly unfair as the other three have four. Of course, the host will wish to balance the servings by compensating the loser with other vegetables.

Precisely how much broccoli makes up for the missing roaster, or how many peas? Will an additional spoonful of cabbage make up the deficit? Does a roast parsnip equal a roast spud, or is it only 90% of the value and how do you make up the remaining 10% deficit? Then you have veggies so appalling – swede, for example – that adding it is simply heaping insult upon injury. Right thinking people would gladly give up a roaster to do without swede. It is a vegetable so bad that it has a negative value2.

With the roast potato at the top of the roast dinner chain, then, I shall assign it a value of ten. This being the case, what value can we assign to other vegetables? Time, I think, for a poll.

Before we go to the poll, however, I should point out that in this case we are simply considering vegetables and their impact upon the palate; we are not interested in their relative nutritional merits, this is entirely value assigned by taste and smell. Neither are we concerned with meat or fish and certainly not with a Yorkshire Pudding3.


[Poll #1131251]

1By which I mean that it is not a generally accepted fact.

2I shall brook no argument t on this point: swede is vile. If you are odd enough to think otherwise, kindly keep it to yourself. This is a respectable journal.

3The Yorkshire Pudding is that rarity on the dinner plate. It trumps the roast potato. One average sized Yorkshire is worth at least two roasters and as such is an easy way of buying off potato deficits, though again, an imbalance of Yorkshires creates the same concerns one level up. A deficit of both roaster and Yorkshires is unconscionable and the cook should be shot..

Life on Mars...

Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008 01:21 pm
caddyman: (Now let me see...)
Amongst other sources, The Times has reproduced a blow-up from a NASA photograph taken in 2004 on Mars.

The photograph shows what NASA are calling a rock and a "trick of the light" and what conspiracy-lovers and the generally over excitable are calling definitive proof of life on Mars.

Photographic evidence behind the cut (work friendly) )Of course, there's no need for debate. We have proof positive of life on Mars. Just ask Marvin:

Life on Mars...

Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008 01:21 pm
caddyman: (Now let me see...)
Amongst other sources, The Times has reproduced a blow-up from a NASA photograph taken in 2004 on Mars.

The photograph shows what NASA are calling a rock and a "trick of the light" and what conspiracy-lovers and the generally over excitable are calling definitive proof of life on Mars.

Photographic evidence behind the cut (work friendly) )Of course, there's no need for debate. We have proof positive of life on Mars. Just ask Marvin:
caddyman: (Stingray 16)
I don't know what, but something momentous has happened somewhere recently. It may be that we will never know, for the event has caused reality to slip a groove and we are, for the time being at least, in a slightly different continuum to that we inhabited yesterday.

I am indebted to the Lord of All String for digging up this snippet, which outlines a proposal to recommence airship production in Hertfordshire.

It is a known fact1 that airships only appear at times of great stress to reality, presaging or reacting to great disturbances in the fabric of space and time (viz the 1930s: full of airships and sandwiched neatly in the advertising break between parts one and two of the World War2.

I have posted this here as the redoubtable [livejournal.com profile] mr_h_r_hughes locks his journal. I would be grateful for any reports from around the world that may help me pin down the reason for the reappearance of the airship.

1Also an un-provably known fact, so don't ask me to prove it.

2There are small airships that appear spontaneously to witness the distortion of reality at major sporting events too, when something completely unlikely happens, such as Cleveland making the Superbowl, or Chelsea winning the European Cup.
caddyman: (Stingray 16)
I don't know what, but something momentous has happened somewhere recently. It may be that we will never know, for the event has caused reality to slip a groove and we are, for the time being at least, in a slightly different continuum to that we inhabited yesterday.

I am indebted to the Lord of All String for digging up this snippet, which outlines a proposal to recommence airship production in Hertfordshire.

It is a known fact1 that airships only appear at times of great stress to reality, presaging or reacting to great disturbances in the fabric of space and time (viz the 1930s: full of airships and sandwiched neatly in the advertising break between parts one and two of the World War2.

I have posted this here as the redoubtable [livejournal.com profile] mr_h_r_hughes locks his journal. I would be grateful for any reports from around the world that may help me pin down the reason for the reappearance of the airship.

1Also an un-provably known fact, so don't ask me to prove it.

2There are small airships that appear spontaneously to witness the distortion of reality at major sporting events too, when something completely unlikely happens, such as Cleveland making the Superbowl, or Chelsea winning the European Cup.
caddyman: (Default)
All you naughty English smokers out there, remember how you would regularly light up your B&H whilst sitting in church listening to the vicar? Well, no more. The UK Health Act 2006 has made smoking in church illegal. More to the point, the church has, by law, to display no-smoking signs or pay a fine.

This is because if there is one place on the planet people forget to stub out their ciggies, it is in church. Of course, it is possible to have a sense of humour about it.

Edited to add: Just so you don't think it's sour grapes on my part or anything, it's just over 8 weeks without a smoke now.
caddyman: (Default)
All you naughty English smokers out there, remember how you would regularly light up your B&H whilst sitting in church listening to the vicar? Well, no more. The UK Health Act 2006 has made smoking in church illegal. More to the point, the church has, by law, to display no-smoking signs or pay a fine.

This is because if there is one place on the planet people forget to stub out their ciggies, it is in church. Of course, it is possible to have a sense of humour about it.

Edited to add: Just so you don't think it's sour grapes on my part or anything, it's just over 8 weeks without a smoke now.

I say!

Thursday, October 12th, 2006 11:58 am
caddyman: (Ooo Matron!)
Someone in the marketing department might have thought this packaging through a little before it was released, wouldn't you think?


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Poor old Ainsley...

Bwah ha haaa.

I say!

Thursday, October 12th, 2006 11:58 am
caddyman: (Ooo Matron!)
Someone in the marketing department might have thought this packaging through a little before it was released, wouldn't you think?


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Poor old Ainsley...

Bwah ha haaa.

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