Death's too good for them...

[caddyman]

I have extended my list to include people who call lifts, get in them and immediately press the door-close button regardless of who else is trying to catch the bloody thing.

When I rule the world it will be legal to remove their eyeballs through their ears (or nose, your choice).

That is all.

Comments

[ysharros.livejournal.com]

That's just mean. Next time call them on it, as Eddie Izzard advises - when they do that, say "Wow, that's a really mean thing to do" or something.

Hrm. Doesn't sound as funny *or* effective here.

[keith-london.livejournal.com]

LOL.. either - you must never be allowed to come to power, or we have to re-design lifts to incorporate a compulsory time delay (before the door can be closed).

[failing-angel.livejournal.com]

Perhaps some kind of Sisyphian hell, where the lift doors permanently open and close on them.

[thomryng.livejournal.com]

You remind me of a college friend who once threatened to remove my spleen through my elbow.

Good times.

[fredlums.livejournal.com]

Easiest way to avoid this - the panel of buttons in the lift- is there one that looks as though a key will fit in it? If so on entering the lift -place the end of any key in it and turn it to the horizontal position, press the button for your destination and the lift won't/shouldn't stop for nobody nor nothing.

Don't ask the broccoli will form a loveless alliance with the carrots.

[ladkyis.livejournal.com]

My cousin Louise used to say that come the revolution she had a list of people to be stood against the wall and shot. She had only one bullet and this would be reused. the theory being that the further down the list you were the more painful it would be because of the wear and tear. This was after she had stacked the population of the world onto the Isle of Wight - all except the members of the Dyfed Death Squad - so the lift door slammers should be around 10,000 on the list and four feet down inside the pile at Ventnor.