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Bizarre Bloody List...
Why in God's name did I decide to do this?
Oh yes, I remember now. I'm an idiot.
1.My middle name is Colin (pace, Pater). If ever I write a book it will be as Lee Collins or Lee Bryant because they sound more commercially viable.
2. I have lived in 8 houses/flats residences in the whole of my life. Home was Telford, it is no longer. Buy a house? With what?
3. My favourite author is the most excellent Alexandre Dumas.
4.I am an Aquarian, apparently. Which means I should be made of glass and full of fish.
5. I have a degree which is now olde enough to vote and stand for Parliament in its own right.
6. I am a Salopian, which amuses French speakers.
7. I have a set of runes which I use to put my coffee cup on these days.
8. I ran the Art club at school. I say 'ran' actually I allowed it to whither and decay..
9. At poly, I managed to graduate without reading a single set text. Bullshit baffles brains any day.
10. I went to a Grammar School that made us wear short trousers until we were 13 and caps until we were 14. And I was nearly 6 feet tall at the end. Imagine my horror.
11. Trees: Nature's litter bug. Bless'em. Nice to visit but I wouldn't have one in the house.
12.Grab opportunities and then stare at them in bafflement when you notice the sell by date was last week.
13. I'm still waiting for puberty to finish. I don't have time to think about reincarnation.
14. The prime source of heat in my garret is the Christmas tree of plugs I have rigged to power everything from one socket.
15. I boycott Argentinean corned beef.
16. I don't know precisely how caffeine does it, but it stops my head caving in. Therefore no abstinence from that. No sirree, Bob.
17. I have no problem with my age. I have considered and discarded the alternative.
18. My favourite colour is purple.
19. Am I incomplete? The question is meaningless, is it not? A quick body check reveals two of everything down the sides and one of everything down the middle. Just as it should be.
20. I write a lot at work and take arbitrary corrections badly. I like to think I write well and entertainingly for leisure purposes. But who am I to say?
21. I still don't know what I want to do with my life. I know, however, that I'm not doing it..
22. I walloped a kid who was bullying me when I was six and broke one of his teeth. Never hit anyone since except in playful jest. I have reduced people to quivering, blubbering wrecks with words however. I'm not proud of that.
23. Japan? How can I be interested in a society whose highest form of cultural expression is a lacquer box and paper house?
24. Favourite smell? Has to be fresh bread baking.
25. Stage? Passé. Take the train or bus.
26. I have far more frock coats than any sane man ought.
27. I have fired a 22 rifle live twice. First time I managed a 2" grouping; second tine I shredded the target. A nearly deafened myself firing blanks from a Lee Enfield 303. Screwed me shoulder up with recoil, too.
28. Cross country running? Punishment detail for non-sporty types at school. We would walk, not run the course and have a fine old natter about any old crap. Bloody cold in the Winter, though..
29. Had a fabby dog called Ben. No brane to speak of, affectionate as hell. Lovely shiny black coat with white trim. Looked vaguely mandarin when in the mood. Sadly deceased.
30. Favourite number? Dunno. 288 is two gross..
31. I would like to learn another language or so, but until they can download it into my mind it ain't going to happen, sadly. I have no patience with learning new grammar and such. I was once bitten by a gerund..
32. Shooting? I'd love to be competent with a longbow. Even if not allowed to shoot very often, the arm muscles would be great.
33. If Ringo Starr can sing it, so can I.
34. There is English, Welsh and German blood in here somewhere. Mainly English. The name Lea is hardly aristocratic. One Granddad was a tenant farmer, the other a miner.
35. Hair? Was ist das Hair?
36. One day I shall return to Shropshire for good.
37. "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"is the best form of audio-visual escapism currently available
38. I am slowly tiring of London, though not of life.
39. Lottery syndicate at work. I'm buggered if they're going to win and retire to leave me with all the paperwork..
40. Christmas is a day off.
41. Been to Chicago (OK), Virginia (soopoib), Stockholm (groovy), plus Jairmany, France, Belgium and Holland. Fun but not far enough.
42.When you have as much hair as do I, shaving it down to a stubble is the only possible style. I had long hair with a centre parting and Farmer Giles sideburns when I was 17 and 18. Thought it was great. Mother didn't. Mother knows best.
43. I am also mostly lazy and a slob, but too apathetic to care.
44. I like most music except Europop, Rap and Reggie.
45. I am probably barking. But big enough to fool people.
46. I don't believe I have ever consumed an ethical.
47.What does an ethical taste like? I don't know if I'd like it..
48. Grease is the word. (What did this question used to be about, anyway?).
49. I'm christened but only attend hatchings, matchings and despatchings.
50. I have sewed on a button or two. Usually very badly.
51.The half hour before sunrise in Summer. Or so I remember.
52. La soeur lives in Shrewsbury. I have to visit because she and the kids know where the bodies are buried. Bless.
53. Grammar, eh? Depends on my mood. Sometimes I can be pedantic beyond belief.
54.If you knew my dad the word affair would not enter your mind. 'Is he breathing?' might. Mum wouldn't do that, but she is an outrageous flirt even at 74.
55. I nearly got squished under a bus on the zebra crossing at Abbey Road once, doing the Beatles album cover thing.
56. I love, but fail to understand technology. It is man made magic.
57. Silence? I Live in London, Matey. What's silence?
58. I don't have a ballgown (said Kat.) I concur.
59. I want to train a vine.
60. I can only find things if my room is a mess. Tidy it and it's lost.
61. There is nobody I dislike intensely, but there are several people whose company fails to entertain beyond 10 minutes.
62. I miss good films because I hate going to the cinema solo. Or I forget.
63. I'd like to be alive.
64.Give me a good sans-serif and a pint of italic and I'm anybody's.
65.On occasion I hate my life, but I tend to get over it quite quickly. I'm too lazy to be miserable for long.
66.Spirits are death to me. I have come close to alcohol poisoning on the stuff - especially Southern Comfort so many times I can no longer tolerate even looking at the labels. I kid you not. Ask me about downing the bottle in one event one day.
67. Circuses? I prefer bread.
68. Sport? It's an odd boy who doesn't like sport.
69. Favourite band has to be King Crimson - although the mid 80's incarnation is not so much to my taste.
70. Given time, I can make you the best Big Belly Burger on the planet bar none.
71. I haven't driven for years. I used to love it in Shropshire. IT terrifies the hell out of me in London.
72. A good seascape with mountains on the landward side. A waterfall and trees. A fairy glen. Daisies blowing in the wind, acres of long grass.
73. I assume people are OK until proven otherwise. Except nutters of course. Don't like nutters.
74. I own far too many comics. And too many I never seem to get round to reading. I should ditch them, but that would mean admitting I'm growing up at long last.
75. I'm a civil servant. Do you really think that brings you into contact with the sort of famous person you want to admit to meeting? I thought not.
76. Harvey's Best Bitter.
77. I am trying to lose weight before it loses me.
78. I am a football fan and I can't explain the disappointments and euphoria to people who don't understand. It's just there. Tribal, I guess.
79. I have always wanted to be a Time Lord.
80. Mars bars? Fabulous. Bugger, it's that diet thing again.
81. I can't remember a single full poem, but am quite good with doggerel which is a poor man's heraldic beast.
82. I am a poor loser, but hide it well. Sometimes.
83. I have never owned a car, but have managed to park one so it's rear wheels were off the ground.
84. Trouble at school for hoofing a bloody great breeze block up the conker tree. It got stuck and came down three days later. I also got detention for dissolving a penny in the sulphuric acid reserved for the A-Level class one year.
85. The Cabinet of Dr Calamari
86. I am bored by long meetings and train rides to hell.
87. I'd like to breed penguins in Antarctica.
88. I'm told I lurk well for my age.
89. I created Chad Dimpler and a entire entourage of characters to imitate Viv Stanshall.
90. I live in fear of DT's clumsy field.
91. I work for the Government. I can assure you there are no conspiracies. Trust me.
92. I have the God given gift of being able to sail through life largely unaware of anything. Then I get bouts of paranoia that no one likes me.
93. I like most art but not Tracy Emin or the bloke who pickles cows.
94. Priests?
95. Runner beans are the devil's food. They should be banned from all civilised menus.
96. I am generally optimistic, but cynical at work. I tend to the view that the glass is twice the size it needs to be.
97. My politics are informed by sense of justice and morality. So I end up voting for who I disagree with least at the time.
98. I never have much money, but I could build a house from videos, books and CDs. And frock coats.
99. Books, music, movies. In that order.
100.I have no clear memory of filling out this list....
Oh yes, I remember now. I'm an idiot.
1.My middle name is Colin (pace, Pater). If ever I write a book it will be as Lee Collins or Lee Bryant because they sound more commercially viable.
2. I have lived in 8 houses/flats residences in the whole of my life. Home was Telford, it is no longer. Buy a house? With what?
3. My favourite author is the most excellent Alexandre Dumas.
4.I am an Aquarian, apparently. Which means I should be made of glass and full of fish.
5. I have a degree which is now olde enough to vote and stand for Parliament in its own right.
6. I am a Salopian, which amuses French speakers.
7. I have a set of runes which I use to put my coffee cup on these days.
8. I ran the Art club at school. I say 'ran' actually I allowed it to whither and decay..
9. At poly, I managed to graduate without reading a single set text. Bullshit baffles brains any day.
10. I went to a Grammar School that made us wear short trousers until we were 13 and caps until we were 14. And I was nearly 6 feet tall at the end. Imagine my horror.
11. Trees: Nature's litter bug. Bless'em. Nice to visit but I wouldn't have one in the house.
12.Grab opportunities and then stare at them in bafflement when you notice the sell by date was last week.
13. I'm still waiting for puberty to finish. I don't have time to think about reincarnation.
14. The prime source of heat in my garret is the Christmas tree of plugs I have rigged to power everything from one socket.
15. I boycott Argentinean corned beef.
16. I don't know precisely how caffeine does it, but it stops my head caving in. Therefore no abstinence from that. No sirree, Bob.
17. I have no problem with my age. I have considered and discarded the alternative.
18. My favourite colour is purple.
19. Am I incomplete? The question is meaningless, is it not? A quick body check reveals two of everything down the sides and one of everything down the middle. Just as it should be.
20. I write a lot at work and take arbitrary corrections badly. I like to think I write well and entertainingly for leisure purposes. But who am I to say?
21. I still don't know what I want to do with my life. I know, however, that I'm not doing it..
22. I walloped a kid who was bullying me when I was six and broke one of his teeth. Never hit anyone since except in playful jest. I have reduced people to quivering, blubbering wrecks with words however. I'm not proud of that.
23. Japan? How can I be interested in a society whose highest form of cultural expression is a lacquer box and paper house?
24. Favourite smell? Has to be fresh bread baking.
25. Stage? Passé. Take the train or bus.
26. I have far more frock coats than any sane man ought.
27. I have fired a 22 rifle live twice. First time I managed a 2" grouping; second tine I shredded the target. A nearly deafened myself firing blanks from a Lee Enfield 303. Screwed me shoulder up with recoil, too.
28. Cross country running? Punishment detail for non-sporty types at school. We would walk, not run the course and have a fine old natter about any old crap. Bloody cold in the Winter, though..
29. Had a fabby dog called Ben. No brane to speak of, affectionate as hell. Lovely shiny black coat with white trim. Looked vaguely mandarin when in the mood. Sadly deceased.
30. Favourite number? Dunno. 288 is two gross..
31. I would like to learn another language or so, but until they can download it into my mind it ain't going to happen, sadly. I have no patience with learning new grammar and such. I was once bitten by a gerund..
32. Shooting? I'd love to be competent with a longbow. Even if not allowed to shoot very often, the arm muscles would be great.
33. If Ringo Starr can sing it, so can I.
34. There is English, Welsh and German blood in here somewhere. Mainly English. The name Lea is hardly aristocratic. One Granddad was a tenant farmer, the other a miner.
35. Hair? Was ist das Hair?
36. One day I shall return to Shropshire for good.
37. "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"is the best form of audio-visual escapism currently available
38. I am slowly tiring of London, though not of life.
39. Lottery syndicate at work. I'm buggered if they're going to win and retire to leave me with all the paperwork..
40. Christmas is a day off.
41. Been to Chicago (OK), Virginia (soopoib), Stockholm (groovy), plus Jairmany, France, Belgium and Holland. Fun but not far enough.
42.When you have as much hair as do I, shaving it down to a stubble is the only possible style. I had long hair with a centre parting and Farmer Giles sideburns when I was 17 and 18. Thought it was great. Mother didn't. Mother knows best.
43. I am also mostly lazy and a slob, but too apathetic to care.
44. I like most music except Europop, Rap and Reggie.
45. I am probably barking. But big enough to fool people.
46. I don't believe I have ever consumed an ethical.
47.What does an ethical taste like? I don't know if I'd like it..
48. Grease is the word. (What did this question used to be about, anyway?).
49. I'm christened but only attend hatchings, matchings and despatchings.
50. I have sewed on a button or two. Usually very badly.
51.The half hour before sunrise in Summer. Or so I remember.
52. La soeur lives in Shrewsbury. I have to visit because she and the kids know where the bodies are buried. Bless.
53. Grammar, eh? Depends on my mood. Sometimes I can be pedantic beyond belief.
54.If you knew my dad the word affair would not enter your mind. 'Is he breathing?' might. Mum wouldn't do that, but she is an outrageous flirt even at 74.
55. I nearly got squished under a bus on the zebra crossing at Abbey Road once, doing the Beatles album cover thing.
56. I love, but fail to understand technology. It is man made magic.
57. Silence? I Live in London, Matey. What's silence?
58. I don't have a ballgown (said Kat.) I concur.
59. I want to train a vine.
60. I can only find things if my room is a mess. Tidy it and it's lost.
61. There is nobody I dislike intensely, but there are several people whose company fails to entertain beyond 10 minutes.
62. I miss good films because I hate going to the cinema solo. Or I forget.
63. I'd like to be alive.
64.Give me a good sans-serif and a pint of italic and I'm anybody's.
65.On occasion I hate my life, but I tend to get over it quite quickly. I'm too lazy to be miserable for long.
66.Spirits are death to me. I have come close to alcohol poisoning on the stuff - especially Southern Comfort so many times I can no longer tolerate even looking at the labels. I kid you not. Ask me about downing the bottle in one event one day.
67. Circuses? I prefer bread.
68. Sport? It's an odd boy who doesn't like sport.
69. Favourite band has to be King Crimson - although the mid 80's incarnation is not so much to my taste.
70. Given time, I can make you the best Big Belly Burger on the planet bar none.
71. I haven't driven for years. I used to love it in Shropshire. IT terrifies the hell out of me in London.
72. A good seascape with mountains on the landward side. A waterfall and trees. A fairy glen. Daisies blowing in the wind, acres of long grass.
73. I assume people are OK until proven otherwise. Except nutters of course. Don't like nutters.
74. I own far too many comics. And too many I never seem to get round to reading. I should ditch them, but that would mean admitting I'm growing up at long last.
75. I'm a civil servant. Do you really think that brings you into contact with the sort of famous person you want to admit to meeting? I thought not.
76. Harvey's Best Bitter.
77. I am trying to lose weight before it loses me.
78. I am a football fan and I can't explain the disappointments and euphoria to people who don't understand. It's just there. Tribal, I guess.
79. I have always wanted to be a Time Lord.
80. Mars bars? Fabulous. Bugger, it's that diet thing again.
81. I can't remember a single full poem, but am quite good with doggerel which is a poor man's heraldic beast.
82. I am a poor loser, but hide it well. Sometimes.
83. I have never owned a car, but have managed to park one so it's rear wheels were off the ground.
84. Trouble at school for hoofing a bloody great breeze block up the conker tree. It got stuck and came down three days later. I also got detention for dissolving a penny in the sulphuric acid reserved for the A-Level class one year.
85. The Cabinet of Dr Calamari
86. I am bored by long meetings and train rides to hell.
87. I'd like to breed penguins in Antarctica.
88. I'm told I lurk well for my age.
89. I created Chad Dimpler and a entire entourage of characters to imitate Viv Stanshall.
90. I live in fear of DT's clumsy field.
91. I work for the Government. I can assure you there are no conspiracies. Trust me.
92. I have the God given gift of being able to sail through life largely unaware of anything. Then I get bouts of paranoia that no one likes me.
93. I like most art but not Tracy Emin or the bloke who pickles cows.
94. Priests?
95. Runner beans are the devil's food. They should be banned from all civilised menus.
96. I am generally optimistic, but cynical at work. I tend to the view that the glass is twice the size it needs to be.
97. My politics are informed by sense of justice and morality. So I end up voting for who I disagree with least at the time.
98. I never have much money, but I could build a house from videos, books and CDs. And frock coats.
99. Books, music, movies. In that order.
100.I have no clear memory of filling out this list....
no subject
[lj-cut text="whatever garbage you want lit up in orange"]
and finishing with
[/lj-cut]
I made the mistake of forgetting to do this on my top ten post. I edited it damn quick when I spotted it :-)
Ah.....
Thanks, Squire.