caddyman: (Default)
caddyman ([personal profile] caddyman) wrote2008-02-01 02:59 pm
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The Potato is King!

It is a generally accepted fact that roast potatoes are the vegetable in a roast dinner with the highest individual value1. This leads to the necessity for a vegetable exchange rate when there is a paucity of spuds on the menu.

Now if there are four diners and a roast dinner is on the horizon, the well-prepared cook will ensure am equal number of roast potatoes for each person. But what happens when, through some calamity, natural or man-made, there are fifteen roasters? One person will have to make do with three, which is manifestly unfair as the other three have four. Of course, the host will wish to balance the servings by compensating the loser with other vegetables.

Precisely how much broccoli makes up for the missing roaster, or how many peas? Will an additional spoonful of cabbage make up the deficit? Does a roast parsnip equal a roast spud, or is it only 90% of the value and how do you make up the remaining 10% deficit? Then you have veggies so appalling – swede, for example – that adding it is simply heaping insult upon injury. Right thinking people would gladly give up a roaster to do without swede. It is a vegetable so bad that it has a negative value2.

With the roast potato at the top of the roast dinner chain, then, I shall assign it a value of ten. This being the case, what value can we assign to other vegetables? Time, I think, for a poll.

Before we go to the poll, however, I should point out that in this case we are simply considering vegetables and their impact upon the palate; we are not interested in their relative nutritional merits, this is entirely value assigned by taste and smell. Neither are we concerned with meat or fish and certainly not with a Yorkshire Pudding3.


[Poll #1131251]

1By which I mean that it is not a generally accepted fact.

2I shall brook no argument t on this point: swede is vile. If you are odd enough to think otherwise, kindly keep it to yourself. This is a respectable journal.

3The Yorkshire Pudding is that rarity on the dinner plate. It trumps the roast potato. One average sized Yorkshire is worth at least two roasters and as such is an easy way of buying off potato deficits, though again, an imbalance of Yorkshires creates the same concerns one level up. A deficit of both roaster and Yorkshires is unconscionable and the cook should be shot..

[identity profile] snorkel-maiden.livejournal.com 2008-02-01 03:14 pm (UTC)(link)
I feel shame. I added my comment about swede before reading your point #2!
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[identity profile] delvy.livejournal.com 2008-02-01 03:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Ummm, when I cook dinner all my guests have one third of their plate covered in roasters. Yorkshires are piled on top and I normally have 5 or 6. All is of course covered in gravy.
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[identity profile] jfs.livejournal.com 2008-02-01 03:30 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm disappointed that there aren't more people in your poll willing to give peas a chance.




I'll get my coat.

[identity profile] keresaspa.livejournal.com 2008-02-01 03:35 pm (UTC)(link)
I must clarify that peas are only the equal of roasties if they come form a tin from Batchelors. Which is perhaps not a clever admission from an overweight man with the surname Morrow!

[identity profile] fencingsculptor.livejournal.com 2008-02-01 03:40 pm (UTC)(link)
A roast parsnip is better than a roast potato.

Grated swede & carrot mixed together with black pepper and a knob of butter is wonderful. Pull yourselves together.

A good cook distributes the an unequal quantity of roast spuds by size....ensuring everyone gets the same amount of yaffle. And keeps the crispiest, crunchiest, flakiest, must succulent spuds for himself...he deserves it.

....and then a swift 10k to work it off ..there's a good group of chaps!

[identity profile] snorkel-maiden.livejournal.com 2008-02-01 03:45 pm (UTC)(link)
The Swede Brigade is starting to make their presence felt....

I feel somewhat vindicated.

[identity profile] ladkyis.livejournal.com 2008-02-01 03:54 pm (UTC)(link)
I will join the anti-swede group please, Garrr yeuk and phtooey phtooey for swede. I was traumatised by swede in infant school and have never eaten it since.

[identity profile] lucyas.livejournal.com 2008-02-01 03:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Ditch the meat - just give me the veg, a Yorkshire pud and lots of gravy!

Cauliflower cheese is worth 12 points

[identity profile] failing-angel.livejournal.com 2008-02-01 04:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Best way of having swede - mashed (but not to a puree) with carrots - double-yum.


But what's all this about potatoes - anyone would think you had a chip on your shoulder.

[identity profile] sea-strands.livejournal.com 2008-02-01 05:48 pm (UTC)(link)
In my opinion none of the above, even the roast potato, would work without gravy. Mind you, I have been known to drink the gravy straight from the gravy boat .....

[identity profile] lapinenoireuk.livejournal.com 2008-02-01 06:06 pm (UTC)(link)
To hell with gravy!

Pepper sauce (with real black pepper corns)is the answer to most culinary problems!!

[identity profile] ash1977law.livejournal.com 2008-02-01 07:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Until recently I beleived that the spud is king,, trumped only by the yorkshire pud.

Now I know that they are both trumped by 'incorrectly cooked' Brussel Sprouts.

My wife is American and therefore was not taught the 'propper' Britsh way to cook Brussel Sprouts (begin boiling them in late November, serve as nasty balls of disgusting mush on Christmas Day) and instead has learned to cook them in such a way that they taste nice.

[identity profile] mr-h-r-hughes.livejournal.com 2008-02-02 09:13 am (UTC)(link)
The spud is my god.


That is all