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Office foliage
The world’s most miserable tree has appeared in our office by the window. It’s a tree because it is indoors, outside it would be a sapling.
Now a healthy tree has a canopy that literally blocks out the sun. Even a young tree has a healthy covering of leaves if not as impressive a set as a mature specimen. This sad little thing has a single leaf for every foot of branch, and most of them are yellowy green rather than a good, rich green.
A little later when no one’s looking, I am going to give it a cup of coffee. That’ll perk it up.
Now a healthy tree has a canopy that literally blocks out the sun. Even a young tree has a healthy covering of leaves if not as impressive a set as a mature specimen. This sad little thing has a single leaf for every foot of branch, and most of them are yellowy green rather than a good, rich green.
A little later when no one’s looking, I am going to give it a cup of coffee. That’ll perk it up.
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I am good at weeding...I just turn up and try to nurture things
Under cover of darkness...
Obviously you may have to wear a disguise...
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Poor little thing.
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To be honest the word weeping kind of implies it isn't happy a lot of the time, no?
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What few leaves it has are oval, but very pointed at the end.
Like this?
It's amazing how popular a houseplant they are when they're so high-maintenance.
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Our sad specimen's leaves don't appear to be as glossy, but that may well be because it's poorly though...
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If that does not work, try offering it a sacrifice. Suitable offerings do NOT include:
Unwanted liquids, however sourced;
Fag-ends;
Grape pips, orange peel etc. even if you claim it is compost or mulch;
Compost or mulch;
Paper-clips;
Toffee papers.
You might try spilling the blood of an office junior on its roots. If the tree improves, work you way up the management chain until the thing is sturdy enough to hang the Minister from its branches.
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How well do "romneys" mulch?
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*even more confused about plants*
cider is ok though, yes?
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If X sacrifices to Y something that Y actually needs, it implies that X has some sort of hold over Y. So what Y should demand is something that is not needed, but which is precious to X or causes X some special effort to obtain.
So, in this case, mulch is not a worthy sacrifice. However, yes, cider is a possibility, particulary if Caddy is required to snatch the stuff from under the nose of DT ("special effort" = "having your fingers broke off, minced, mixed with broken glass and fed back to you")
So he wants his twig to grow up into a Whomping Willow, he shold make with the libations/plastc surgery rather than with the Sage's dog.
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