Astronomy Domine

[caddyman]

This report from Auntie tells us that scientists are meeting in Prague to reclassify certain astronomical bodies in the solar system. If they agree, and it seems likely that they will, we will no longer have 9 planets in the solar system, but 12. Pluto will be relegated to the “second division” of planets along with newcomers, Ceres, Charon and the only one with its own post code: Xena (2003 UB313).

Ceres is in orbit between Mars and Jupiter and may or may not be classified as a planet but the largest (known) asteroid although it is spherical, while Pluto, Charon and Xena, right out at the far reaches of the system are likely to be reclassified as dwarf planets, or Plutons¹, which are bodies with enough gravity to arrange themselves into a largely spherical shape. There is some dispute about Charon; some astronomers suggest it is a moon of Pluto, others call it a twin planet (or, I suppose, pluton).

I quite liked the idea of plutons exerting enough gravity to form globes until I looked in the mirror. Suddenly I’m not so sure, maybe we should stick with “icy dwarfs”, though that would just transfer body image problems from me to small people².

With all the talk of Kuiper Belts and Oort Clouds and such, I wonder why there has been no mention of the Van Halen Belt, that small area of stars that spills out Hard Rock? ³.


¹Send all jokes based around Who Killed the Plutons elsewhere, please. Unless they are really good.

²But they’re only short arses, so who cares?

³Yes, I know. And I don’t care, so nyah, nyah, nyah..

Comments

[mr-h-r-hughes.livejournal.com]

So assuming that Xena is not named after a dodgy fantasy series who or what was Xena, I'm assuming something greek to go along with pluto and charon. Explanation please from somebody with a classical education.

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

So assuming that Xena is not named after a dodgy fantasy series

I suggest that you don't make that assumption...

[caffeine-fairy.livejournal.com]

Nope, it's named after Xena, Warrior Princess. The Times says so...

[sack-boy.livejournal.com]

2003 UB313 was "nick-named" Xena by the Astronomologists that found it, according to a report on Auntie back in February. "If granted such a classification, the object would assume a name from Greek or Roman mythology." And they did, in deed, nick-name it after said Telly Box serial.

[mr-h-r-hughes.livejournal.com]

I hereby declare the death of western civillisation. Goodbye, I'm off to beat myself to death with copy of Medea

[keresaspa.livejournal.com]

Surely Vulcan would be the logical (no pun intended) choice for a new planet, notwithstanding Gene Rodenberry having already swiped it.

[fencingsculptor.livejournal.com]

If you were suggesting naming it after it's Star Trek connotation, you may choose Heavy Book of Mythology or my boot...

Your choice.

Oh to heck with it, .... I'll even offer a Nerve Pinch (TM Paramount Pictures) if you like

[keresaspa.livejournal.com]

The planet Nerve Pinch certainly has a ring to it - 'NASA probe reaches Nerve Pinch' as a headline, anyone.

[romney.livejournal.com]

Xena has a moon, which is unofficially named Gabrielle

[mrssshhh.livejournal.com]

I was going to mention that, but there's no need.

p.s. Hello Bryan

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

Hello, Neil!

[fencingsculptor.livejournal.com]

Astronomical bodies should be given grown-up names based on ancient Greek or Roman mythology. I'll even entertain mythologies from other ancient cultures eg Egypt, Maya and China, but the emphasis should be on DIGNIFIED names !

Requests for celestial bodies to be named Xena , Spock, Yavin, Hoth, Tatooine, Dagobah (and this is from a self confessed Star Wars geek) etc should be met with a swift crack round the bonce with the largest most heavy book of Mythology available....

Followed by a good kicking from me....

And no more named after bodily orifices and Disney dogs please !

[mr-h-r-hughes.livejournal.com]

Isn't Quaoar named after some American Indian god ?

[sack-boy.livejournal.com]

The IUA has a whole swathe of nomenclature for planetary objects and satellites

[cybersofa.livejournal.com]

Those strict regulations must have come into force subsequent to the naming of Planet Zappa, to say nothing of Planets John, Paul, George, Ringo, Eric etc etc.

[averylaterabbit.livejournal.com]

"the naming of Planet Zappa,"

Well he had a little Moon Unit. Poor, poor child.

[sack-boy.livejournal.com]

Earth is "here", the [other] planets are in the heavens, the realm of the Divine.

[sack-boy.livejournal.com]

And the more usual significance of Tellurian is "of, or relating to, or inhabiting, the land as opposed to the sea or air." Not dwelling on Planet Earth but dwelling upon the earth, the ground.

[romney.livejournal.com]

bodies with enough gravity to arrange themselves into a largely spherical shape

Must... Not... Make... Sarcastic... Comment...

failed

[romney.livejournal.com]

...Planet ...Caddyman

Re: failed

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

Congratulations for making the joke I'd already made in essence.

Re: failed

[romney.livejournal.com]

Yes I missed that, having read halfway and only later realising that you had put a splendid bit of self-depreciation.

So I'm only helping really.

Re: failed

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

and that coming from a gassy giant himself!

[bluesman.livejournal.com]

I was commenting only yesterday, somewhere here, about planets being given dull designations rather than names, but if this one is going to be named Xena, after a TV character rather than a mythological one, they really ought to been far more sensible and named it Muttley. Not as Greek-sounding as Xena, but what the heck, (rassen frassen...).