Foiled again!

It's just turned midnight and I find that I must iron a shirt for tomorrow. I have learnt from the emergency hotline, that the office will have power tomorrow (indeed it has power now), and that we are all expected to turn up and earn our pittance.

There is, of course, one caveat: the air conditioning will only be operating at about 50% efficiency. Chiz, and indeed, curses. Fatties like me depend upon such amenities in the summer (and let's be frank, they're pretty good in the winter, too). I mean, they took the time out to fix the rest of the circuitry, why not the air conditioning? Are we to work in a mediaeval sweatshop, like some far eastern textile worker? I say, no! Never! To the barricades!

Oh, who am I kidding?

Iron shirt, shave, take shower and go to bed. It's a school night.

Grumble.

(And by the way, I hate the US English spell checker on this thing. If I want to use learn as a hard verb, I bloody well shall, thank you very much).

Foiled again!

It's just turned midnight and I find that I must iron a shirt for tomorrow. I have learnt from the emergency hotline, that the office will have power tomorrow (indeed it has power now), and that we are all expected to turn up and earn our pittance.

There is, of course, one caveat: the air conditioning will only be operating at about 50% efficiency. Chiz, and indeed, curses. Fatties like me depend upon such amenities in the summer (and let's be frank, they're pretty good in the winter, too). I mean, they took the time out to fix the rest of the circuitry, why not the air conditioning? Are we to work in a mediaeval sweatshop, like some far eastern textile worker? I say, no! Never! To the barricades!

Oh, who am I kidding?

Iron shirt, shave, take shower and go to bed. It's a school night.

Grumble.

(And by the way, I hate the US English spell checker on this thing. If I want to use learn as a hard verb, I bloody well shall, thank you very much).

Frightening the horses

Can we spell idiot, boys and girls?

I think we can, yes.

Having spelt¹ the word, I can now define it: an idiot is someone who goes into the shower room, showers, and then discovers that he has left the towel outside. Luckily, this idiot has a toweline dressing gown (not as suave as a silk smoking jacket, dahlink, but mightily practical in the circumstances. And not a whiff of decadence), and was able to don that for the dash upstairs.

This is not recommended behaviour. It's too chilly for one, and soggy bathrobes bind in the most surprising of places. If you know what I mean...


¹Yes folks, another hard verb - the second tonight. Spell checker be damned.

Frightening the horses

Can we spell idiot, boys and girls?

I think we can, yes.

Having spelt¹ the word, I can now define it: an idiot is someone who goes into the shower room, showers, and then discovers that he has left the towel outside. Luckily, this idiot has a toweline dressing gown (not as suave as a silk smoking jacket, dahlink, but mightily practical in the circumstances. And not a whiff of decadence), and was able to don that for the dash upstairs.

This is not recommended behaviour. It's too chilly for one, and soggy bathrobes bind in the most surprising of places. If you know what I mean...


¹Yes folks, another hard verb - the second tonight. Spell checker be damned.

It is as I feared...

Yes indeed.

With the air-conditioning working at 50% efficiency, life is naught but fun, fun, fun here in Eland House today. This was precisely what I feared and expected. An uncomfortable working environment, and no allowance being made for either the conditions or the fact that we lost a day yesterday.

Still, I get to spend a half hour or so this afternoon running a cathartic red pen through various parts of our website. We have decided that the best approach to that digital quagmire is to delete as much as possible, the majority of it being both hopelessly out of date, and impossible to find. Even Google finds it difficult to make sense of our website, but it does manage far better than the in house search engine, which is so far beyond laughable that I cannot think of an apposite word or phrase.

I am trying to have the word put around that I am dead.

If successful, I am confident that this will reduce the amount of insignificantly stupid queries I am called upon to answer by council officers who should know better, and from members of the public who should not be entrusted with a telephone.

I think that I shall arrange to win the lottery jackpot this weekend - maybe the Eurolottery with its reported £77 million roll over jackpot, although I should be quite happy with the standard lottery jackpot which will be a lower, but still comfortable number of millions.

It is as I feared...

Yes indeed.

With the air-conditioning working at 50% efficiency, life is naught but fun, fun, fun here in Eland House today. This was precisely what I feared and expected. An uncomfortable working environment, and no allowance being made for either the conditions or the fact that we lost a day yesterday.

Still, I get to spend a half hour or so this afternoon running a cathartic red pen through various parts of our website. We have decided that the best approach to that digital quagmire is to delete as much as possible, the majority of it being both hopelessly out of date, and impossible to find. Even Google finds it difficult to make sense of our website, but it does manage far better than the in house search engine, which is so far beyond laughable that I cannot think of an apposite word or phrase.

I am trying to have the word put around that I am dead.

If successful, I am confident that this will reduce the amount of insignificantly stupid queries I am called upon to answer by council officers who should know better, and from members of the public who should not be entrusted with a telephone.

I think that I shall arrange to win the lottery jackpot this weekend - maybe the Eurolottery with its reported £77 million roll over jackpot, although I should be quite happy with the standard lottery jackpot which will be a lower, but still comfortable number of millions.