Stretch Armstrong

I'm not quite sure how I was lying last night, that is to say the posture adopted during sleep, but when my alarm went off this morning, all hell was let loose.

You see, I habitually take some time to wake up - at least on a work day - and therefore have three alarms (1 radio and 2 phones) to drag me from the Land of Nod. The radio is fine, that stays on for an hour and is meant to be listened to anyway. The phones are the real waker-uppers; the radio just warns you that alarms are about to go off.

Anyway, I digress.

This morning, as usual, in that half-somnolent, not-yet-awake-by-any-standard-oh-no-matey period when unconsciousness is a debatable concept, I tried to stop the squeals from the phones and get my heart rate back to normal. Unfortunately, it was a little different today. You see, I had somehow contrived to cut off the circulation in both my arms while I was asleep, so the delicate manipulation of keypads on a handset was problematic at best. My dexterity was akin to that achievable if you attach a bunch of saveloy sausages to the end of broom handles and then try to use them to dial at arms length.

Happily the blood got round the said appendages in time to stop me going entirely potty and I turned the noise off without resorting to destruction. But quite how I must have lain to cut off the circulation in both arms eludes me...

Stretch Armstrong

I'm not quite sure how I was lying last night, that is to say the posture adopted during sleep, but when my alarm went off this morning, all hell was let loose.

You see, I habitually take some time to wake up - at least on a work day - and therefore have three alarms (1 radio and 2 phones) to drag me from the Land of Nod. The radio is fine, that stays on for an hour and is meant to be listened to anyway. The phones are the real waker-uppers; the radio just warns you that alarms are about to go off.

Anyway, I digress.

This morning, as usual, in that half-somnolent, not-yet-awake-by-any-standard-oh-no-matey period when unconsciousness is a debatable concept, I tried to stop the squeals from the phones and get my heart rate back to normal. Unfortunately, it was a little different today. You see, I had somehow contrived to cut off the circulation in both my arms while I was asleep, so the delicate manipulation of keypads on a handset was problematic at best. My dexterity was akin to that achievable if you attach a bunch of saveloy sausages to the end of broom handles and then try to use them to dial at arms length.

Happily the blood got round the said appendages in time to stop me going entirely potty and I turned the noise off without resorting to destruction. But quite how I must have lain to cut off the circulation in both arms eludes me...