Trains agains

Ah well, I was late into work again today. Partly by design, as I had to nip into Boots to put in a prescription renewal and partly because of our favourite mass transit system, London Underground, aka The Tube, aka Red Ken’s Folly.¹

When it works properly, I am rather fond of our ancient and smelly tube system; it is still the fastest way around the city (except in the West End where, quite frankly, if you know where you’re headed, many locations are quite close to each other, so half the time walking is as good if not better). Sadly there is barely a day that goes by when everything works properly. Today at various intervals, we were given three good excuses on the Northern Line to account for the considerable delay I had in getting to Euston. I use ‘good’ as a synonym for ‘entertaining’.

Firstly, there were delays reported because a pilot light had gone out on a train. Now I always thought that the trains even on the oldest lines were electric. There’s all that stuff about the middle rail which you should never pee on no matter how drunk you are, or how bursty your bladder may be². I am quite enamoured by the possibility that at least some of the trains are gas powered and that the driver has to sit there ensuring the pilot light stays lit so that the turbines fire up. It would also explain why the Tube is so damned hot for so much of the time, regardless of the weather above ground.

The second reason we were given – and there was no reference to the first, leaving me with a strong suspicion that they just make them up, was that there was a gap in the service behind us. We were held at West Finchley for ten minutes because the line behind us was clear.

Now with the lack of pilot lights and the delays in following trains, it was something of a relief to find that we were being held at East Finchley (we sailed through Finchley Central with not even a murmur) due to the old chestnut of a defective train ahead of us. Now this is an oldie but a goldie. It may or may not have been true, but the fact that we can’t move is because the tunnel is blocked by a broken train is at least believable and fits a sane world view.

That said, there ism something gloriously steam punk about gas-fired trains on the Underground and I think we should have them in all their inefficient glory.


¹OK, I made that last one up, but it should be true.

²I am not aware of any similar injunctions not to pee on other tracks, other than public decency laws and that sort of thing. The fact that the middle rail is picked out for special consideration suggests that at sometime in the past it has been deliberately targeted in defiance of convention by “gentlemen” who probably never lived to learn their lesson.

Trains agains

Ah well, I was late into work again today. Partly by design, as I had to nip into Boots to put in a prescription renewal and partly because of our favourite mass transit system, London Underground, aka The Tube, aka Red Ken’s Folly.¹

When it works properly, I am rather fond of our ancient and smelly tube system; it is still the fastest way around the city (except in the West End where, quite frankly, if you know where you’re headed, many locations are quite close to each other, so half the time walking is as good if not better). Sadly there is barely a day that goes by when everything works properly. Today at various intervals, we were given three good excuses on the Northern Line to account for the considerable delay I had in getting to Euston. I use ‘good’ as a synonym for ‘entertaining’.

Firstly, there were delays reported because a pilot light had gone out on a train. Now I always thought that the trains even on the oldest lines were electric. There’s all that stuff about the middle rail which you should never pee on no matter how drunk you are, or how bursty your bladder may be². I am quite enamoured by the possibility that at least some of the trains are gas powered and that the driver has to sit there ensuring the pilot light stays lit so that the turbines fire up. It would also explain why the Tube is so damned hot for so much of the time, regardless of the weather above ground.

The second reason we were given – and there was no reference to the first, leaving me with a strong suspicion that they just make them up, was that there was a gap in the service behind us. We were held at West Finchley for ten minutes because the line behind us was clear.

Now with the lack of pilot lights and the delays in following trains, it was something of a relief to find that we were being held at East Finchley (we sailed through Finchley Central with not even a murmur) due to the old chestnut of a defective train ahead of us. Now this is an oldie but a goldie. It may or may not have been true, but the fact that we can’t move is because the tunnel is blocked by a broken train is at least believable and fits a sane world view.

That said, there ism something gloriously steam punk about gas-fired trains on the Underground and I think we should have them in all their inefficient glory.


¹OK, I made that last one up, but it should be true.

²I am not aware of any similar injunctions not to pee on other tracks, other than public decency laws and that sort of thing. The fact that the middle rail is picked out for special consideration suggests that at sometime in the past it has been deliberately targeted in defiance of convention by “gentlemen” who probably never lived to learn their lesson.

(no subject)

I now have my Dr Who wallpaper back on my office PC. Tis a small thing, but it cheers me up!

That is all.

(no subject)

I now have my Dr Who wallpaper back on my office PC. Tis a small thing, but it cheers me up!

That is all.

Stuff your pumpkins

Oh yes. It’s Halloween tonight, isn’t it?

The BBC website has an article with the picturesque and accurate title “The Japanese Knotweed of Festivals” and they’re right.

The Scots have some tradition of celebrating Halloween with “Guising” whereby kids dress up and entertain people in return for gifts. As far as I am aware, most of England and Wales didn’t have such a thing until the mid 80s. At least it didn’t happen in our part of the world. Even when I was at college in the late 70s and early 80s, if you popped into the pub on Halloween, there might be a plastic bat hanging from the bar and that would be it.

Simply put, no matter how many kids wander around tonight ‘trick or treating’, it’s a recent import. And even any charm that bit might have had has largely been superseded by the sight of gangs of thuggish youths effectively demanding money with menaces.

I blame Steven Spielberg. Pretty much no-one knew about ‘Trick or Treat’ in England before ET the Extraterrestrial. That made people notice and then as the BBC points out, increasingly from the mid 80s onwards, the boom in satellite TV and day time terrestrial TV, meant that more and more US kids’ shows found their way into people’s homes and that meant more awareness of Halloween.

I’ll be staying away from the back door tonight and the lights will be off; a night’s TV or music or just about anything is called for.

What’s the Halloween version of “Bah, Humbug”?

Stuff your pumpkins

Oh yes. It’s Halloween tonight, isn’t it?

The BBC website has an article with the picturesque and accurate title “The Japanese Knotweed of Festivals” and they’re right.

The Scots have some tradition of celebrating Halloween with “Guising” whereby kids dress up and entertain people in return for gifts. As far as I am aware, most of England and Wales didn’t have such a thing until the mid 80s. At least it didn’t happen in our part of the world. Even when I was at college in the late 70s and early 80s, if you popped into the pub on Halloween, there might be a plastic bat hanging from the bar and that would be it.

Simply put, no matter how many kids wander around tonight ‘trick or treating’, it’s a recent import. And even any charm that bit might have had has largely been superseded by the sight of gangs of thuggish youths effectively demanding money with menaces.

I blame Steven Spielberg. Pretty much no-one knew about ‘Trick or Treat’ in England before ET the Extraterrestrial. That made people notice and then as the BBC points out, increasingly from the mid 80s onwards, the boom in satellite TV and day time terrestrial TV, meant that more and more US kids’ shows found their way into people’s homes and that meant more awareness of Halloween.

I’ll be staying away from the back door tonight and the lights will be off; a night’s TV or music or just about anything is called for.

What’s the Halloween version of “Bah, Humbug”?