Goons approaching from the north

Since the office refurbishment and space flex (LJs passim), things just haven't worked properly. Quite apart from the constant war of attrition on staff morale, no-one can find the reference books and files, computers go on line one day but not the next and today, the three printers we use in our little corner of Hell packed up in rotation and then spontaneously started to work again at random intervals.


printers worked intermittently

The problem, of course, was that no-one knew until they had sent a document to a printer whether it would work or not and when it decided to do so, it churned out dozens of copies of documents that had since been printed elsewhere. Each one inscribed, with supreme irony, "think before you print - do you really need the hard copy?"

Next week the next division in line join us. We have already seen members of their advance guard wandering around the as-yet empty work places with tears in their eyes and sagging shoulders. It will be up to us old lags to show them the ropes, and how to disguise tunnel entrances and all that. I am hoping that none of them find the little meeting room hidden around the corner out of sight. We like that one: it's always free simply because it is unknown.

Goons approaching from the north

Since the office refurbishment and space flex (LJs passim), things just haven't worked properly. Quite apart from the constant war of attrition on staff morale, no-one can find the reference books and files, computers go on line one day but not the next and today, the three printers we use in our little corner of Hell packed up in rotation and then spontaneously started to work again at random intervals.


printers worked intermittently

The problem, of course, was that no-one knew until they had sent a document to a printer whether it would work or not and when it decided to do so, it churned out dozens of copies of documents that had since been printed elsewhere. Each one inscribed, with supreme irony, "think before you print - do you really need the hard copy?"

Next week the next division in line join us. We have already seen members of their advance guard wandering around the as-yet empty work places with tears in their eyes and sagging shoulders. It will be up to us old lags to show them the ropes, and how to disguise tunnel entrances and all that. I am hoping that none of them find the little meeting room hidden around the corner out of sight. We like that one: it's always free simply because it is unknown.

Close shave

Why are some people just complete spods? I mean, there are plums out there who make you wonder quite how they walk and breathe at the same time.

Coming home from work today I witnessed a nearly accident. A nearly accident is one of those times when you reckon the only way it could have been averted was for one vehicle to phase through the other at an atomic level, it was so close.



Always use the horn as a warning, not as a form of expression

I was standing next to the car park exit outside Totteridge & Whetstone station, texting Furtle, when a woman in one of those new-fangled BMW Minis pulled out into the traffic. I swear she never looked, but I guess she must have and had nerves of steel. More so than the poor saps driving down and up the hill in either lane. Somehow she crossed the near lane about three inches (I'm not kidding) in front of a car coming up the hill from Totteridge and swung her car right into the traffic even closer in front of a car coming down the hill from Whetstone. She then gunned the engine and was gone. The silhouette of the woman driving down the hill is etched into my memory: she had the open-mouthed expression of horror that only someone whose life has just flashed in front of them, complete with adverts, can have.

Had any one car touched one other, all three would have been in the most almighty pile up. Someone was looking out for the two passing cars. I suspect someone else entirely was watching out for the driver of the mini.

Close shave

Why are some people just complete spods? I mean, there are plums out there who make you wonder quite how they walk and breathe at the same time.

Coming home from work today I witnessed a nearly accident. A nearly accident is one of those times when you reckon the only way it could have been averted was for one vehicle to phase through the other at an atomic level, it was so close.



Always use the horn as a warning, not as a form of expression

I was standing next to the car park exit outside Totteridge & Whetstone station, texting Furtle, when a woman in one of those new-fangled BMW Minis pulled out into the traffic. I swear she never looked, but I guess she must have and had nerves of steel. More so than the poor saps driving down and up the hill in either lane. Somehow she crossed the near lane about three inches (I'm not kidding) in front of a car coming up the hill from Totteridge and swung her car right into the traffic even closer in front of a car coming down the hill from Whetstone. She then gunned the engine and was gone. The silhouette of the woman driving down the hill is etched into my memory: she had the open-mouthed expression of horror that only someone whose life has just flashed in front of them, complete with adverts, can have.

Had any one car touched one other, all three would have been in the most almighty pile up. Someone was looking out for the two passing cars. I suspect someone else entirely was watching out for the driver of the mini.