More coffee larks

Some poor sap has been short changed.

I went downstairs to buy my morning latté and, despite nearly dozing off in the queue – they operate in treacle time: the more people that are waiting, the slower they become, managed to grab my latté and get back to my desk.

Of course it wasn’t until I was halfway through a huge gulp of said restorative that I realised that there is some syrup of some sort in it. I prefer plain myself, but there’s no point taking it back part drunk and it’s not unpleasant, though it is unidentifiable.

Actually, now I’ve drunk it, I think I shall have to go and make myself an instocaff to rid me of the aftertaste. Aftertaste should not be allowed, generally speaking.

Maybe I should lick my keyboard…

More coffee larks

Some poor sap has been short changed.

I went downstairs to buy my morning latté and, despite nearly dozing off in the queue – they operate in treacle time: the more people that are waiting, the slower they become, managed to grab my latté and get back to my desk.

Of course it wasn’t until I was halfway through a huge gulp of said restorative that I realised that there is some syrup of some sort in it. I prefer plain myself, but there’s no point taking it back part drunk and it’s not unpleasant, though it is unidentifiable.

Actually, now I’ve drunk it, I think I shall have to go and make myself an instocaff to rid me of the aftertaste. Aftertaste should not be allowed, generally speaking.

Maybe I should lick my keyboard…

It's got a beat and you can dance to it

It occurs to me that there are possibilities out there for the most bizarre combinations of artist and music. Occasionally, you find an instance where in real life, an artist does something completely unexpected and the result is risible and airbrushed out of history (I present the court with Exhibit A: Paul McCartney, The Frog Chorus). More rarely, rather than being an absolute mess, the concept works against all expectation and may even be considered a classic. Having thought of an example of something that should never have been recorded, I can’t honestly think of anything to illustrate my second assertion, but there must be something.

In the sprit of boredom then, I present ten pieces of music and the people I wish had recorded them, simply because it would have been worth the effort to listen, if only once:

The Sex Pistols: Eine Kleine Nacht Musik
Val Doonican: Fire Starter
The Osmonds: Je t’aime (Moi Non Plus)
Black Sabbath: The Laughing Policeman
Nirvana: When I’m Cleaning Windows
The Who: Disco Inferno
Prince and the Revolution: All Around My Hat
Pulp: Puff the Magic Dragon
Cliff Richard: Teenage Dirtbag
The Cure: Bridge Over Troubled Water

Suggestions for more, anyone?

If I get enough, I may put them in a poll to see what would have been the most popular inappropriate recording never recorded.

It's got a beat and you can dance to it

It occurs to me that there are possibilities out there for the most bizarre combinations of artist and music. Occasionally, you find an instance where in real life, an artist does something completely unexpected and the result is risible and airbrushed out of history (I present the court with Exhibit A: Paul McCartney, The Frog Chorus). More rarely, rather than being an absolute mess, the concept works against all expectation and may even be considered a classic. Having thought of an example of something that should never have been recorded, I can’t honestly think of anything to illustrate my second assertion, but there must be something.

In the sprit of boredom then, I present ten pieces of music and the people I wish had recorded them, simply because it would have been worth the effort to listen, if only once:

The Sex Pistols: Eine Kleine Nacht Musik
Val Doonican: Fire Starter
The Osmonds: Je t’aime (Moi Non Plus)
Black Sabbath: The Laughing Policeman
Nirvana: When I’m Cleaning Windows
The Who: Disco Inferno
Prince and the Revolution: All Around My Hat
Pulp: Puff the Magic Dragon
Cliff Richard: Teenage Dirtbag
The Cure: Bridge Over Troubled Water

Suggestions for more, anyone?

If I get enough, I may put them in a poll to see what would have been the most popular inappropriate recording never recorded.