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Where we're at now.
Monday, July 28th, 2014 04:41 pmWell, it looks as though Mum will not be coming home.
She has been passed ‘medically fit’ i.e. she has no current infections, but her capacity is now so diminished that she needs care 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. This is something the family can’t manage, what with work, school, life and that sort of thing.
Luckily the social worker is the person who brought up the question of a care home and there are a couple close to where my sister lives that look suitable and have good reputations. Unfortunately we can’t afford to top up the costs of residential care, so Mum will get it at the local authority rate. On the plus side, the place we have in mind accepts that rate and we can always make the occasional top up if we wish.
The question now, is how well Mum will take it. Back when her memory and capacity were both better, she always railed against care homes and if her condition was slightly better, she probably still would. Understandably she just wants to be at home. That said, her memory is shot to pieces. By Saturday afternoon, she had forgotten that I’d visited her 24 hours earlier. In fact she had no memory of anyone ever visiting her at any time, though she accepted reassurances that she HAD had daily visits by at least one family member.
During a visit, she will ask every few minutes where she is and if you speak to her (or more importantly if a stranger speaks to her) she will laugh a little to cover the fact she has no idea whatsoever what you’re talking about. She will occasionally admit to family that she can’t remember anything, but she seems to be still wary enough of admitting that to people she doesn’t know.
I worry that she might recognise a nursing/care home when she’s in it and that might speed her decline, but when she’s been in a decent respite home, she seems to have been okay (though that was some time ago). On the other hand, when she has someone to chat/gossip with – someone of approximately her mown age, she seems to have more ups than downs.
So, we’ll see.
She has been passed ‘medically fit’ i.e. she has no current infections, but her capacity is now so diminished that she needs care 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. This is something the family can’t manage, what with work, school, life and that sort of thing.
Luckily the social worker is the person who brought up the question of a care home and there are a couple close to where my sister lives that look suitable and have good reputations. Unfortunately we can’t afford to top up the costs of residential care, so Mum will get it at the local authority rate. On the plus side, the place we have in mind accepts that rate and we can always make the occasional top up if we wish.
The question now, is how well Mum will take it. Back when her memory and capacity were both better, she always railed against care homes and if her condition was slightly better, she probably still would. Understandably she just wants to be at home. That said, her memory is shot to pieces. By Saturday afternoon, she had forgotten that I’d visited her 24 hours earlier. In fact she had no memory of anyone ever visiting her at any time, though she accepted reassurances that she HAD had daily visits by at least one family member.
During a visit, she will ask every few minutes where she is and if you speak to her (or more importantly if a stranger speaks to her) she will laugh a little to cover the fact she has no idea whatsoever what you’re talking about. She will occasionally admit to family that she can’t remember anything, but she seems to be still wary enough of admitting that to people she doesn’t know.
I worry that she might recognise a nursing/care home when she’s in it and that might speed her decline, but when she’s been in a decent respite home, she seems to have been okay (though that was some time ago). On the other hand, when she has someone to chat/gossip with – someone of approximately her mown age, she seems to have more ups than downs.
So, we’ll see.