Of collars

[caddyman]

Like many (most?) people I have my moments of paranoia, those times when you're walking along minding your own business and suddenly every person you walk past is smiling, or stifling a smile. Or as they pass you, someone giggles. And suddenly the entire world is looking at you.

Of course it isn't. The whole world hasn't got a blind clue you exist, but that's not what paranoia is about. Ho no.

Anyway, I got it today on my way into work.

I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the newsagent's window and thought, "Harry Hill." At this point, Messers Paranoia and Self-Conscious presented me with their business cards and accompanied me to the office.

What are the chances of that happening?

Comments

[ellefurtle.livejournal.com]

Never ever glance at yourself in windows as you pass. It never ends well. I have never done that and thought "blimey, I'm gorgeous!" - there is something about them that highlights your most depressing features and introduces new and false ones. I am not really short and blotchy, for instance.
Mirrors in the changing rooms in BHS have been designed to depress and deflate as well - a good reason not to shop there. I have never felt quite so sure that every prospect utterly failed to please as I have in their cubicles. The lighting makes your skin coarse and dull, highlights every bulge, foreshortens you somehow and hides all good points.

[romney.livejournal.com]

That explains it. I'm a reflection escaped from a BHS mirror.

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

No.

You're just short and hairy.

[ellefurtle.livejournal.com]

In a scary red dress? My worst experience was a scary red dress....

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

Ooer, cripes.

I meant romney is short and hairy...

[ellefurtle.livejournal.com]

Got that! Was following thread...

chortle