Hands that do dishes are as soft as your head...

[caddyman]

I like my hands to be clean.

Even when I was little, I hated sticky fingers and was always washing my hands. I could just about put up with mildly grubby paws, but would wash them as soon as possible. Jammy, sugary, sticky hands though, required immediate cleaning. I am pretty much still the same: never quite grew out of it, though I try to be only marginally OCD about it.

Over the years, and some of you may remember me grumbling about it in the past, I have been tasked by the amount of finger prints I get on things. I always thought that I had the world’s greasiest hands – especially noticeable when it came to mobile phones, which I cleaned endlessly to keep the shine.

I suspect that what I always thought as being excessively greasy fingers was actually just perfectly natural skin oil. I think I was told that by one of you out there in LJ-land (actually, for some reason my beleaguered memory tells me it may have been mollpeartree, but I’m not sure).

Anyway, I have cured it. My hands are no longer greasy. In fact I’m not sure that I leave full fingerprints any more. I believe that I may have tanned my hands, by which I do not mean that they have an attractive sun-kissed brown hue. No, I mean that they would make a fine pair of leather gloves. They are dryer than a Pharaoh’s sock.

Because no one is ever happy about these things, I now have to use hand cream, would you believe, and within ten minutes I still don’t leave much of a finger print.

I still hate sticky fingers more though, so I’m not too unhappy about it.

Comments

[ellefurtle.livejournal.com]

See, it's no wonder you can't open carrier bags. You have frictionless fingers!
I think people's hands get less moist with age as well, which is why a 2-yr-old is perma-sticky for no apparent reason.

[snorkel-maiden.livejournal.com]

And also why elderly ladies have skin like tissue paper and equally dry!

[snorkel-maiden.livejournal.com]

"They are dryer than a Pharaoh’s sock."

I do enjoy your turn of phrase :)

[bluesman.livejournal.com]

I like "dryer than a Texas gulch in the middle of August," but it's a bit unwieldy for true wit, and you don't hear too many Englishmen trotting it out.

[mollpeartree.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure I'm not anyone's source of wisdom on moisturization facts and advice, being in a pretty bad way myself dry hands-wise. It's gotten worse in the last few years since my cat hates the smell of all hand lotion and won't come near me if I've used any.

[littleonionz.livejournal.com]

A pharaohs!?...oh you wrote sock *sniggers*

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

You naughty!

[immerwahr.livejournal.com]

I've always found your hands to be wonderfully soft.

I'd suggest taking up the lifestyle of a land-working peasant at once. You may starve and suffer from the cold, but I've heard it does wonders for the mitts. Like wearing oven gloves, only it's callous!

Am reminded of Callan, pushing his hands into a box of sand while he studied great battles of history. Might be worth a try.