Astringent

[caddyman]

For the last couple of days my hands have been really greasy and it's annoying the hell out of me.

Ever since I was a little kid sticky, dirty or greasy (or any combination of the three) hands have pissed me of and I just have to wash them. But since the middle of the week, no matter how much I scrub the buggers, my hands are just horribly greasy. I might as well just have stuck them in a chip pan or used a block of lard like play-do.

I normally buy cheap soap in large tranches, you know the stuff - 99p for a ton and probably made of boiled horses. Last weekend I realised just as it was too late to go to the shops, that I was down to a tiny sliver and that my hoard was depleted, so I went round the corner shop and bought some zest to tidy me over until I can get a supply of horse-glue soap.

Now this zest soap is OK, it's smells fresh and is lemion scented - lucky it's winter or I'd have insects trying to pollinate me, but it's pansy stuff compared to my usual non-brand. It occurs to me that this is the problem. Maybe I haven't got greasy hands at all; they are probably supposed to be like this but I'm so used to washing with industrial strength astringents that my skin is normally like tracing paper.

I must go and get some of my usual stuff; this is annoying me intensely. I am fed up with leaving finger prints everywhere that you can see without forensic powder.

Comments

[romney.livejournal.com]

I expect you is metamorphosing into sumfink.

Perhaps that greasy exudate is supposed to form a protective cocoon around your body - try spinning it into silk using your legs, or blowing bubbles to form a foam.

Then, when it hardens you will fall into a torpor that will see you sleeping through the Cold Winter Months, dreaming of Cheese and Winona Ryder, until spring when you will peck your way out and flutter off into the sunshine...

Good beer here.

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

You really are quite odd, aren't you....