Kill or Cure
Sunday, November 9th, 2003 10:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
caddymanWell, just got back from Marlow.
We played Republic of Rome. As usual, Rome fell to the barbarians before the end of the first epoch. I awarded myself a moral victory anyway on the grounds that my faction was the richest (without doing anything naughty), the most popular and most influential. If only they'd sent my guy to deal with the Macedonain War, we might have got to the second epoch. But no, 'Oh, he's to popular, he'll rebel and take Rome off us.' And I'll pay the legions with what, precisely?
By the time my oh, so suspicious co-senators woke up to the real danger, we had five major wars to deal with and not enough legions to cope. I of course, smacked the crap out of my adversary, but the best the other general could only manage a standoff, and that ain't good enough. Four active wars at the end of a turn is enough to destroy the republic, so we all lost. If only I'd had the money, I would have marched on Rome myself and won. But alas, no.
Matrix Revolutions.
Bollocks really, wasn't it? I mean, really. Bad enough in Reloaded to find out that the Architect is, in fact, Colonel Saunders (but then, the Matrix is a finger lickin' good program), but to find out that Agent Smith is essentially a failed self-replicating Windows application....
But at the end, I suppose if you're going to have a deus ex machina, it's best to go for it literally.
On the plus side, the seats in the UCI at High Wycombe were so stunningly uncomfortable, that in true kill or cure fashion, my bad back gave in because of the punishment the seats were giving it, and has cured itself.
So yay me.
But really. Bollocks, wasn't it? Enjoyable hokum, but bollocks.
We played Republic of Rome. As usual, Rome fell to the barbarians before the end of the first epoch. I awarded myself a moral victory anyway on the grounds that my faction was the richest (without doing anything naughty), the most popular and most influential. If only they'd sent my guy to deal with the Macedonain War, we might have got to the second epoch. But no, 'Oh, he's to popular, he'll rebel and take Rome off us.' And I'll pay the legions with what, precisely?
By the time my oh, so suspicious co-senators woke up to the real danger, we had five major wars to deal with and not enough legions to cope. I of course, smacked the crap out of my adversary, but the best the other general could only manage a standoff, and that ain't good enough. Four active wars at the end of a turn is enough to destroy the republic, so we all lost. If only I'd had the money, I would have marched on Rome myself and won. But alas, no.
Matrix Revolutions.
Bollocks really, wasn't it? I mean, really. Bad enough in Reloaded to find out that the Architect is, in fact, Colonel Saunders (but then, the Matrix is a finger lickin' good program), but to find out that Agent Smith is essentially a failed self-replicating Windows application....
But at the end, I suppose if you're going to have a deus ex machina, it's best to go for it literally.
On the plus side, the seats in the UCI at High Wycombe were so stunningly uncomfortable, that in true kill or cure fashion, my bad back gave in because of the punishment the seats were giving it, and has cured itself.
So yay me.
But really. Bollocks, wasn't it? Enjoyable hokum, but bollocks.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Revolutions
Date: 2003-11-09 05:05 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-11-10 04:03 am (UTC)OTOH, haven't played it in ages.
(no subject)
Date: 2003-11-10 04:22 am (UTC)We usually see a win by Matt Harman Smith, though we've not played in some while. Probably due a game (rereading Colleen McCullough's books at present, which whets my appetite - just hit the Social War).
(no subject)
Date: 2003-11-10 06:31 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-11-10 02:29 pm (UTC)Back still troublesome?
Date: 2003-11-10 08:51 am (UTC)Traction.
Traction engines are slow things, making it hard to keep the patient lying in front of one before it has properly rolled over him. The effort is however worthwhile, as the therapeutic (well, pulverising) effect on the problem back, and the cheery "Toot! Toot!" from the whistle makes this a memorable experience for both patient and observer.
Heat treatment.
Probably the easiest, needing little more than a can of petrol and matches. The actual benefit comes from the resulting running round and rolling over and over, which loosens the problem vertebrae nicely. Also known as the Charred Dimpler method.
Chiropractic.
This is all Greek to me, meaning something like "effective hand", suggesting that a good punch in the kidneys might be worth a try.
Weightlessness.
Alas reducing Caddys weight to zero is not economic given what an Ariane launch costs and its 8.000 kg payload limit. He could be launched in sections and reassembled in orbit, but the Ariane failure rate means that at least one critical part of him would be lost, which of course will not turn out to be the troublesome spine.
Transplant.
The Back Transplant is a surgical procedure in its infancy. Research is mainly an attempt to insert spines in the spineless, funded by recent donations to Conservative Central Office. Another drawback is that currently only two people carry Spine Donor cards, and Saddam Hussein clearly isn't going to give his up readily, while Patrick Moore has requested that his be reused as a xylophone.
Cyberisation
This is the "Gold Standard" treatment, where the body is replaced with durable, indestructible plastic. Drawbacks include that this covers all parts EXCEPT the spine, plus the inability to then call out the Doctor without having your plans for world domination thwarted.
Re: Back still troublesome?
Date: 2003-11-10 09:02 am (UTC)What have I ever done to you that you should do this?
Go and writen something in your own so I can be sarcastic at you for a change... :-p