Help! I say, Help, boy!

[caddyman]

I am hoping some of you chaps can advise me on whether my latest computer problem sounds, on the balance of probabilities, like it is actually my computer, or the exchange I use to dial out on.

Of course, the bizarro-world serendipity I suffer from means that I find that quite independently, ntl's mail server is down, so I haven't been able to access anything that's not automatically forwarded to my hotmail account for a couple of days. In the past that hasn't stopped me accessing the web, so the fact it's all come together at once is just a crusty cherry on a stale cake.

Anyway, this morning I tried to log on, and failed. I actually did connect a couple of times but at speeds that would have made an old 14.4 modem laugh in superiority. I think the best connection speed was 9660kps, the worst was in three figures. After that it refused to connect at all, the modem would dial out and I would get either the loud and prolonged squawk of a modem at the far end that won't connect to the computer, or equally annoying but easier on the ears, static.

My alternate dial out to a different provider acted pretty much the same, and on both dial ups the modem would intermittently sulk and pretend it wasn't there after a couple of failed tries. I don't blame it.

Now, my techie friends, does that sound like a problem with my PC/modem, or a problem with nt-hell's phone exchange?

Oh, and the web server is still down - I can't access it through any of my usual routes from the office.

Comments

[bibliogirl.livejournal.com]

Sounds like the phone to me -- it _could_ be your modem. Have you tried plugging in a phone to that line to see if it sounds noisy?

Re:

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

There's already a phone attached to the line, and that seemed OK for dial tone and such - but of course you don't need such a strong signal to use the phone...

I dialed in and out on the line between the land line and mobile in both directions to make sure it was working, but apart from getting both phones to ring I didn't think to check the line for noise...

Re:

[delvy.livejournal.com]

Have you contacted your telecommsprovider to ask them to check the line? Quite often they'll find a fault and fix it straight away and in my experience it's more often the issue than the ISP.

Re:

[bibliogirl.livejournal.com]

You might possibly want to try taking the phone out of the loop, and just plugging the modem into the line directly, just in case it is in fact the phone going bad and affecting the line. I have seen this happen...

Completely off-topic: April 5th, yay or nay? I would like to book tickets...

[jfs.livejournal.com]

I have a spare 56K modem (though I'm not sure how I'll get it to you in the near-near future) if you want to try swapping yours out and mine in?

Re:

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

I have a spare modem which should work... I was just hoping to get away without giving the PC a heart by-pass.

But thanks, I'll bear that in mind. ;-)

[romney.livejournal.com]

I suggest picking up the phone and, without dialling, saying in a loud and clear voice:

"I say chaps, you can't expect me to download or upload anything interesting for you to intercept until you fix that noisy wiretap".

For a more interesting response, speak in Arabic instead of English.