Murder, mystery and cheese

[caddyman]

I have to buy cheese at lunchtime. Stilton probably, and then something else, Brie most likely and maybe a small selection of others.

This weekend, I am in the sleepy hamlet of Foxton for a Murder Mystery evening. I am not entirely sure how it came about, but I am to play one Seamus O'Hack, dissolute Irish writer who would rather drink than write. I can't do an Irish accent¹. Still, I guess that doesn't matter, just go along, play along and have a good time.

Considering the amount of costume I have around the house, all I need is my Panama hat, though I may take an ornamental walking cane and a hip flask to add to the colour. Otherwise all I need do is wear my current office clothes of chinos, open-neck shirt, and crumpled (and in need of a dry clean) chino jacket. Maybe I won't shave, just to give me that 'been out all night' look, which combined with the red eyes from lack of recent sleep, will do as much as can be expected to transform a fat, blond, balding Englishman into a wiry, dark-haired Irishman.

I understand that the weather forecast suggests that temperatures will fall by about 10 degrees, and that there will be rain. Luckily we will be in a small marquee masquerading as somewhere in Vichy French Morocco, 1943: - Rick's Café Africaine (don't ask), just before the allied invasion of North Africa².

I see the wind has started blowing with a certain malevolent energy outside. Bet I get rained on while I traipse down to the dairy.

Typical.

Additional: In the end, I did not get to the cheese shop. I shall knock off early and wander off up to Neal's Yard for the first time in many moons.

Additionally additional:Briefly, shit hit fan. Six o'clock still at work. Will be here for a while yet. Sky leaden. Not likely to get to cheese shop.

Bugger, arse and damnation.

¹Not entirely true: I can do something that sounds vaguely like Ian Paisley on steroids, which has appalled the few Northern Irish people I've ever spoken to. But any of the varieties of the softer lilt from south of the border are beyond me.

²Operation Torch for those of you who must have your history.

Comments

[keresaspa.livejournal.com]

I've never met an Englishman yet who can do our accent properly. Noel Edmonds was almost there and Peter Kay can manage it, although his mother being from this part of the world means he counts as being honourary Northern Irish anyway. The paddy accent is a breeze in comparison.

[nattydreadi.livejournal.com]

What he said

Though there is the odd person here and there who can pull it off, as you say, they almost exclusively have NornIrsh parentidj

[keresaspa.livejournal.com]

This is true. Takes a good bit of acquiring does the old Province's gutter-speak. Plus few others can grasp the local concept of completely inoffensive cursing. I sometimes pity the American tourists in Belfast.

[binidj.livejournal.com]

"just before the allied invasion of North Africa"
Am I the only one who read that first as "alien invasion"?

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

Your thoughts betray you, Bin. You old geek.