Pointless Rant Contender

[caddyman]

I am clearly an unreconstructed man cut adrift in a sea of political correctness without the proverbial Mae West life jacket.

One of the tasks I have ahead of me is writing a procedural guide to making an annual determination.* I think I may have mentioned that before in this journal, so I shan't trouble you with details. Suffice it to say that it will be a crusty document of limited appeal to anyone outside my division at work, much less the wider world.

But I digress.

Anyway, in this politically correct world against which I generally rant and rave given the option and sufficient alcohol, there are certain words which are no longer chic when it comes to drafting official documents. They are, indeed, verboten by the language fascists.

Such a word is spokesman. Now, I have difficulty with these things. It's not sexist to use the words spokesman or chairman per se, I don't care what anyone says. I am willing to compromise however and allow spokeswoman and chairwoman as necessary, despite the fact the word is supposed to describe the job not the person doing it. However, we aren't allowed that, either. Nope, we have spokesperson, and what a bastard word that is; neither fish nor fowl.

Ah, me.

I believe that I am the only person I know who has found that he needs to find the plural of the word, and this is where the minefield of political correctness traps you. Which is the proper plural, is it spokespersons or is it spokespeople? Unlike the equally bastard word, chairperson which is sometimes abridged to chair ("The chair announced that..." etc. etc. Arse-wipe of a phrase, though evocative in a Pythonesque way), we cannot abridge spokesperson to spokes, because whilst inconstant humanity has no difficulty in accepting declamatory furniture, the bicycle wheel is a step too far.

Suzie, the Office BombshellTM tells me that no-one in the history of ever has needed to pluralise (argh!) the word spokesperson. But I must, because we have multiples of the brutes and they each need a letter, and I must refer to this fact in my tome.

The world has gone mad, I tell you. It is the end of civilisation as we know it.




* Bloody Hell. I've been looking for a title, and that may be it!

Comments

[mollpeartree.livejournal.com]

The correct plural form is spokescritters.

[oldnick.livejournal.com]

Ah - what you need is a gender- and culture- non-specific word that encapsulates the same meaning. "Speaker" or "representative" - or perhaps something nice and historical - if you can find one that no one picks up the cultural baggage it would doubtless carry. :-)

[irdm.livejournal.com]

Some relation of Cam?

[nyarbaggytep.livejournal.com]

Call them rude words, all of them, non gender specific rude words. Possibly with animals in.

I got told that I couldn't use the word brainstorm the other day (not that it features highly among words I want to use) because apparently it is offensive to epileptics.

[kneeshooter]

Yeah - I can never remember the PC alternative to brainstorm though.

[ellefurtle.livejournal.com]

Isn't it "thought shower" or something similarly daft?

[kneeshooter]

Sounds like the kind of thing that should be reserved for consenting adults in the privacy of their own homes...

[irdm.livejournal.com]

in a moment of attempted usefullness, would saying "each spokesperson" cover many issues of spokespersonage?

Hmmm and
"spokespersons" - for multiple groups with a single spokesbeing each.
"spokespeople" - more than one spokesbeing of a single group.

[pauln.livejournal.com]

Spokesbeing sounds like an excellent alternative. Doesn't offend the non-humans.

[keresaspa.livejournal.com]

I had a lecturer a few years back who came up with the absolute horror "Ombudsperson". To my understanding ombudsman is a direct lift from Swedish and so to force an English suffix onto it is just woeful. Daft mare.

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

Quite.

It should be Ombudspersson.

[littleonions.livejournal.com]

The world has gone mad, I tell you. It is the end of civilisation as we know it.
Oh I do hope so this one is fairly rubbish,you simply cannot get a decent cup of tea anywhere! :)

[boredinsomniac.livejournal.com]

I vote spokespersons. It sounds more professional.

I must disagree with you on the sexism of the language, but I will spare you the debate. I am trying to restrain myself from pointing out that... no. I won't get started. I promise.

A Whatperson now?

[romney.livejournal.com]

Alas, you fall foul of political incorrectness in your first syllable.

The term "Spoke" clearly discriminates against those who, through unfortunate circumstance, are unable to speak, speak clearly, or learn a spoken language. Moreover, it also discriminates against those who are unable to hear or comprehend speech.

You're not going to hold onto your job in the bright new world of caring government if you don't stop upsetting the minorities.