Novel

[caddyman]

Although I have yet to commit a word of it to paper, I decided many years ago to follow the advice of a long since forgotten (by me) novelist, and start my story with a sentence that grabs the reader’s attention.

With that in mind, I have spent the bigger part of twenty years polishing and finessing the opening line of the novel I have yet to write or even develop a plot for. Whatever it turns out to be about, the story will start with something I consider different enough to grab the attention of the casual book store browser and make that person stop and read more.

”Uncle Horace wants to know what he should do with the Moose’s head?”

Now, I’ve been happy with this basic introductory line, with minor variations over the years, as fashions change, and have been content in the knowledge that when I finally get my arse into gear and start writing the Great …er… British novel, that I have a sound beginning.

Today I find out that no less a person than James Clavell advises that one should always start a story with a man riding into town. Presumably, this is a hangover from the days of the American West. The point is, that despite twenty years of development, my opening line doesn’t conform to this advise; men riding in to town are conspicuously absent from the sentence, and who am I to gainsay the author of Shogun?

So, as of today, the opening line of my novel reads, Horace rode into town with a moose’s head; leaning down from the horse he said, “Go get my nephew, and ask him what I should do with this…”

The man’s right, you know. Just adding that context has turned my opening line from an interesting hook to a work of genius.

Comments

[pauln.livejournal.com]

Not bad. Not bad at all. My favourite is still "It was the day my grandmother exploded."

[ysharros.livejournal.com]

I think that made top 10 memorable opening lines for lots of people, myself included.

[oldnick.livejournal.com]

”Uncle Horace wants to know what he should do with the Moose’s head?”, called the man, as he rode past the signpost that declared 'Tombstone, Population 200 198

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

Oi! Whose imaginary unwritten novel is this, anyway?

Bloody Cheek! ;-p

[oldnick.livejournal.com]

Merely trying to find a synergy of the inimitable caddyman and the profitable Clavell.

[kt-peasant.livejournal.com]

"'Hold this for me dear' said my aunt, climbing down from her camel after morning service."

I seem to remember the novel in question didn't really live up to the opening line, but it does include riding...

[bluesman.livejournal.com]

Don't leave me in suspense. Which novel opened with the line about the exploding grandmother?

"Uncle Horace wants to know what he should do with the Moose’s head?”
"Never mind that. You hold the piano, I'll fetch the lizard."

Stolen from the great George Carlin, but what the heck. Write your way out of that, Bryan.

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

Which novel opened with the line about the exploding grandmother?

Don't ask me, I only work here...

[pauln.livejournal.com]

Iain Banks (without the "M"), The Crow Road.

It lives up to the opening. One of the man's best (and none the worse for being a lot gentler than most of his).

[bluesman.livejournal.com]

Ah, thank you. I just read the blurb and review, and it looks intriguing. I have heard of "The Wasp Factory" but never read any of his.

[romney.livejournal.com]

You might like "Espedair Street" because it's (somewhat) about music (albeit rock'n roll), but mostly because you can probably find an edition with a guitar on the cover.

And also "Whit" which is a neat dissection about how a small introverted religous cult works, interacts with the outside world, and addresses facing up to discovering it's own history.

And read all the rest of his fiction books, which are all equally different and all equally good. And all his Science Fiction too.

[bluesman.livejournal.com]

Ooh, ta!

[ash1977law.livejournal.com]

Even though they are total trash, try the "Anita Blake" novels for hooky writing. I suspect the first chapter of each book is written by someone else.

They generally start with a single hooky line.

"The knife was heavy in her hand, and the sound of panicked bleating filled the air"

She then expands upon the scene, (but gives no further information on the initial sentance until midway down page two), something like :

"Sweat rolled down Antia's back, the gun holster chaffing against her skin beneath the red silk blouse"

Then the author will introduce another character towards the end of the first half-page.

"Chris glanced up at Anita, his craggy features creasing into a grin as he lifted the arm of the corpse"

Then the author finishes the introductory half-page with a teaser line
" "It looks like they got another one," Chris said "which makes it" "
and the teaser line ends mid-sentance to be continued on page two.

Page two expands upon the characters, and gives the details that are missing from the first page. Page three expands the story & draws you in.

The "Anita Blake" series are soft porn mixed with the worst MarySue-isms, but the opening pages are the most hooky of any book. They are formulaic, but very effective.

[romney.livejournal.com]

Don't give him ideas! We may end up with a Journal full of formulaic "Caddy-porn". Our monitors will have to be placed on the top shelf and the URL only ever writ on folded brown paper.

I dare not speculate on the actual content, but I expect the blokes would say "Crikey!" a lot.

[littleonions.livejournal.com]

How do you do it Mr Caddy? pure genius.

[boredinsomniac.livejournal.com]

I think nowadays, Horace would be riding into town with the moose head strapped to the roof of his hatchback.

Now there is a picture. Start your novel with that.

[romney.livejournal.com]

These days, Horace would order the head off eBay and have it delivered.

Item #7229752294 on ebay.co.uk looks like it would hang on the wall nicely. If you have a big wall...

[november-girl.livejournal.com]

Horace was stopped sharply outside the newsagents, dislodging the moose head from his roof rack. It flew forward and downward in a perfect parabolic curve, landing neatly at the feet of Mrs Higginbottom, who had coincidentally just commenced complaining that the butcher was unable to provide for her customary Sunday roast.

[snorkel-maiden.livejournal.com]

Can I join your friends list? I'm a mate of ellefurtle :)

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

Of course you can. ;-)

[blue-icicle.livejournal.com]

I must say that is a pretty excellent line. Mine have never reached that level. I shall have to work on that.