Cheese Dreams

Monday, July 5th, 2004 11:29 pm
caddyman: (You there)
[personal profile] caddyman
I have just discovered that it is actually possible to put too much cheese in a sandwich. Until tonight I had not thought it possible per se, The correct type of cheese in bread of an appropriate tensile strength and all should be well. Or so I thought.

This may still be true in the cheese sandwich's raw, unadulterated form, but sadly it is not when cooked.

It's the Brevill Sandwich maker, see. I do like a good toasted cheddar sarnie. Especially if there's some mozzarella to be had, too. You see, what happens is, the bread toasts into sealed clamshells full of molten cheese - in theory. And I've noticed that once toasted, there's always loads of room inside the toastie.

So this time I factored in 150% more cheese.

That went well until I was engrossed in the intricacies that are the coffee mug and lack of spoon. My attention wavered.

Have you ever heard a cheese sandwich whistle? I have. A few minutes ago.

"What" thought I, "is that?" Well, gentle reader, it was the first ever recorded sandwich fumarole. There was a jet of steam about 6" long issuing from the corner of one of the sandwiches. I should have taken steps to prevent an escalation at that point, but I confess the intrepid explorer was upon me, and I just had to watch. Within a minute, the steam fumerole had edged up to high pressure, and the steam only condensed into something observable with the naked eye about an inch from the sarnie. The whistling had stopped - or reached a pitch beyond the human auditory range - and I confess that I was half looking for a gauge with the needle pushed into red just like all your favourite mad scientist movies.

Anyway, just about the time I thought it was calming down, the cheese appeared. Boisterous, hot and streaming from three corners of the toaster (it did plug the fumarole). I confess that my reflexes are not enough to cope with multidirectional projectile molten fondue. I got most of it and onto a plate, too. But there is more there cooling down and solidifying.

My table now resembles a culinary Mount Etna, and the sandwiches were still only half full.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-07-05 03:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] keith-london.livejournal.com
Dramatic cuisine! - as long as no one gets hurt, why not? :-)

(no subject)

Date: 2004-07-05 04:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nyarbaggytep.livejournal.com
Ah, the noble art of the cheese toasty.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-07-05 10:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sea-strands.livejournal.com
Have you ever heards eggs cheep as you boil them? Eggs cheep and cheese whistle; sounds like a band.

Have you ever used Philadelhia cream cheese in a toasted sarnie? It burns the roof off ones mouth but it's lovely and doesn't seem to reduce.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-07-06 12:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] delvy.livejournal.com
Pepperoni is also great in a cheese toasty

(no subject)

Date: 2004-07-06 01:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] caffeine-fairy.livejournal.com
I recommend a small amount of Leicester cheese as well....lovely....

(no subject)

Date: 2004-07-06 02:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ellefurtle.livejournal.com
Don't worry, in a few generations, your table will be very fertile.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-07-06 04:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] agentinfinity.livejournal.com
Stilton and salami, or Campbells condensed cream of asparagus are my favourite fillings. Also any melty cheese with a bit of stir in pasta sauce. Like a pizza. Mmmm.

Damn you Brevill, give me back my life.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-07-06 10:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thalinoviel.livejournal.com
cheesey goodness... stand the sandwich maker on a plate next time, that way the molten cheese is pre-caught and you simply have to cut it off the sides of the toaster before it solidifies.

Personally I like cheese and onion toasties: [livejournal.com profile] bytepilot however, insists that cheese and ham is God's Own Toastie.

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