Take your partners
Wednesday, October 17th, 2007 11:02 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
caddymanThis morning is one of those cool sunny autumnal days that make me wish I lived out in the country instead of a city (albeit on the edge of the city). Of course, by the time I pop off the tube at Victoria, deep in the centre, it could be any time of year.
To add to the edge of wistfulness, the train was comparatively deserted this morning – even at Euston there were only a few people standing, rather than the usual sardine can approach to mass transit that London regularly visits upon its denizens. It made me wonder if there was perhaps a public holiday that I’d forgotten or if someone important had died and I’d missed the announcement on public mourning. I don’t thing the resignation of Sir Ming counts.
For the lazy adrenaline junky, I think I have found just the thing you are looking for. If extreme snowboarding or disembowelling tuna amidst a school of sharks is a little too much for you, may I heartily recommend the road-crosser’s waltz? I indulged myself this morning trying to cross Victoria Street and I must say that the adrenaline buzz and cold sweats are only now beginning to fade. If you enjoy this sort of feeling, but are too lazy or unfit to paraglide off Mount Everest, then this is for you.
The process is simple: merely wander up to the crossing of your choice on a very busy urban road and then wait for the green man to appear. Start out across the road and then, about half way, find a similarly engaged fellow pedestrian who is approaching from the opposite side. Attempt to go round them and then blanche when they choose the same direction. Both parties must – and I cannot stress this enough – then look at each other sheepishly and move to the side. But it must be the same side. Maintain this mutually blocking response until the traffic lights are green and the drivers are getting snarly, at which point somewhere down in your brain stem the word will come through to utilise just a modicum of common sense to get past your partner.
It is guaranteed to get your heart racing and freshen the sweat on your brow.
Don’t expect a round of applause or marks out of ten.
To add to the edge of wistfulness, the train was comparatively deserted this morning – even at Euston there were only a few people standing, rather than the usual sardine can approach to mass transit that London regularly visits upon its denizens. It made me wonder if there was perhaps a public holiday that I’d forgotten or if someone important had died and I’d missed the announcement on public mourning. I don’t thing the resignation of Sir Ming counts.
For the lazy adrenaline junky, I think I have found just the thing you are looking for. If extreme snowboarding or disembowelling tuna amidst a school of sharks is a little too much for you, may I heartily recommend the road-crosser’s waltz? I indulged myself this morning trying to cross Victoria Street and I must say that the adrenaline buzz and cold sweats are only now beginning to fade. If you enjoy this sort of feeling, but are too lazy or unfit to paraglide off Mount Everest, then this is for you.
The process is simple: merely wander up to the crossing of your choice on a very busy urban road and then wait for the green man to appear. Start out across the road and then, about half way, find a similarly engaged fellow pedestrian who is approaching from the opposite side. Attempt to go round them and then blanche when they choose the same direction. Both parties must – and I cannot stress this enough – then look at each other sheepishly and move to the side. But it must be the same side. Maintain this mutually blocking response until the traffic lights are green and the drivers are getting snarly, at which point somewhere down in your brain stem the word will come through to utilise just a modicum of common sense to get past your partner.
It is guaranteed to get your heart racing and freshen the sweat on your brow.
Don’t expect a round of applause or marks out of ten.
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(no subject)
Date: 2007-10-17 12:03 pm (UTC)"Once more then I really must go!"
This releases the invisible bonds that hold you together - see I didn't get to my great age without learning and remembering one magic spell