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Pointless Rant Contender
Monday, May 17th, 2004 04:20 pmI am clearly an unreconstructed man cut adrift in a sea of political correctness without the proverbial Mae West life jacket.
One of the tasks I have ahead of me is writing a procedural guide to making an annual determination.* I think I may have mentioned that before in this journal, so I shan't trouble you with details. Suffice it to say that it will be a crusty document of limited appeal to anyone outside my division at work, much less the wider world.
But I digress.
Anyway, in this politically correct world against which I generally rant and rave given the option and sufficient alcohol, there are certain words which are no longer chic when it comes to drafting official documents. They are, indeed, verboten by the language fascists.
Such a word is spokesman. Now, I have difficulty with these things. It's not sexist to use the words spokesman or chairman per se, I don't care what anyone says. I am willing to compromise however and allow spokeswoman and chairwoman as necessary, despite the fact the word is supposed to describe the job not the person doing it. However, we aren't allowed that, either. Nope, we have spokesperson, and what a bastard word that is; neither fish nor fowl.
Ah, me.
I believe that I am the only person I know who has found that he needs to find the plural of the word, and this is where the minefield of political correctness traps you. Which is the proper plural, is it spokespersons or is it spokespeople? Unlike the equally bastard word, chairperson which is sometimes abridged to chair ("The chair announced that..." etc. etc. Arse-wipe of a phrase, though evocative in a Pythonesque way), we cannot abridge spokesperson to spokes, because whilst inconstant humanity has no difficulty in accepting declamatory furniture, the bicycle wheel is a step too far.
Suzie, the Office BombshellTM tells me that no-one in the history of ever has needed to pluralise (argh!) the word spokesperson. But I must, because we have multiples of the brutes and they each need a letter, and I must refer to this fact in my tome.
The world has gone mad, I tell you. It is the end of civilisation as we know it.
* Bloody Hell. I've been looking for a title, and that may be it!
One of the tasks I have ahead of me is writing a procedural guide to making an annual determination.* I think I may have mentioned that before in this journal, so I shan't trouble you with details. Suffice it to say that it will be a crusty document of limited appeal to anyone outside my division at work, much less the wider world.
But I digress.
Anyway, in this politically correct world against which I generally rant and rave given the option and sufficient alcohol, there are certain words which are no longer chic when it comes to drafting official documents. They are, indeed, verboten by the language fascists.
Such a word is spokesman. Now, I have difficulty with these things. It's not sexist to use the words spokesman or chairman per se, I don't care what anyone says. I am willing to compromise however and allow spokeswoman and chairwoman as necessary, despite the fact the word is supposed to describe the job not the person doing it. However, we aren't allowed that, either. Nope, we have spokesperson, and what a bastard word that is; neither fish nor fowl.
Ah, me.
I believe that I am the only person I know who has found that he needs to find the plural of the word, and this is where the minefield of political correctness traps you. Which is the proper plural, is it spokespersons or is it spokespeople? Unlike the equally bastard word, chairperson which is sometimes abridged to chair ("The chair announced that..." etc. etc. Arse-wipe of a phrase, though evocative in a Pythonesque way), we cannot abridge spokesperson to spokes, because whilst inconstant humanity has no difficulty in accepting declamatory furniture, the bicycle wheel is a step too far.
Suzie, the Office BombshellTM tells me that no-one in the history of ever has needed to pluralise (argh!) the word spokesperson. But I must, because we have multiples of the brutes and they each need a letter, and I must refer to this fact in my tome.
The world has gone mad, I tell you. It is the end of civilisation as we know it.
* Bloody Hell. I've been looking for a title, and that may be it!