Victoria Underground

There is something odd about the acoustics at Victoria Station. More precisely on the main escalators from the Tube platform.

The general background noise makes conversation with the person standing one step ahead or behind you on the escalator very difficult indeed. (Admittedly it is generally an environment where all true, reserved Britons rarely talk to each other anyway, even when travelling together). If you stand together on the same step, it is a little easier, but then you fall foul of those numerous and odd hurried people who walk up or down the escalator so that they can stand on the platform for longer or queue at the exit barrier ahead of you.

But while it is difficult to have a conversation with the person next to you, it is really quite easy to overhear snatches of conversation from people - generally tourists - on the opposite escalator some fifteen to twenty feet away. It's the arch of the tunnel, it reflects the words they cannot hear each other utter, and bounces them across to the opposite side with complete clarity. Sadly, because they are inevitably going up while you are going down, or vice versa, a snippet is all you get so even here a conversation or exchange is pretty much impossible. Not, of course that you would want to talk to a complete stranger travelling in the opposite direction, but if you see someone you know, and wait until they draw level on the opposite escalator, it's a good way of targeting a friendly but anonymous insult.

I know. I tried it this morning.

Heh.

Victoria Underground

There is something odd about the acoustics at Victoria Station. More precisely on the main escalators from the Tube platform.

The general background noise makes conversation with the person standing one step ahead or behind you on the escalator very difficult indeed. (Admittedly it is generally an environment where all true, reserved Britons rarely talk to each other anyway, even when travelling together). If you stand together on the same step, it is a little easier, but then you fall foul of those numerous and odd hurried people who walk up or down the escalator so that they can stand on the platform for longer or queue at the exit barrier ahead of you.

But while it is difficult to have a conversation with the person next to you, it is really quite easy to overhear snatches of conversation from people - generally tourists - on the opposite escalator some fifteen to twenty feet away. It's the arch of the tunnel, it reflects the words they cannot hear each other utter, and bounces them across to the opposite side with complete clarity. Sadly, because they are inevitably going up while you are going down, or vice versa, a snippet is all you get so even here a conversation or exchange is pretty much impossible. Not, of course that you would want to talk to a complete stranger travelling in the opposite direction, but if you see someone you know, and wait until they draw level on the opposite escalator, it's a good way of targeting a friendly but anonymous insult.

I know. I tried it this morning.

Heh.

Telephone Banking

Mm. A second posting in one work day. Just how busy can I be?

Not so busy that I can't rant about today's pet nark which is telephone banking.

When first I moved to London some twenty years ago, I quite liked the idea that my bank manager was 150 odd miles away and couldn't bug me face to face. Of course, with the advent of digital technology physical distance is no longer a salient factor in avoiding one's bankers. Three or four years ago I toyed briefly with the idea of on-line banking, but dismissed it as being too hackable, and my financial position is too parlous at the best of times without broadcasting my account details on to the world wide web. So, telephone banking it was (and is).

Over the years this has stood me in good stead. From time to time the bank writes to remind me that theory behind banking is that I lodge money with them, not vice versa, and depending upon the contents of my wallet, expected levels of expenditure and the temporal distance to pay day, I either ignore them or phone them up and transfer funds from what I laughingly refer to as my savings account.

Today I received one of those letters - the sort that suggests that they've mislaid Mexico's overdraft behind mine, now given that I get paid on Thursday, I was initially minded just to grit my teeth and see it through. But then I realised that the quiz season starts tonight and a fiver in the pocket, with assorted shrapnel just ain't going to cut it. So I dig out the moth eaten thing that is my wallet, loaded as usual with old train tickets, business cards, receipts for unidentifiable and forgotten purchases of venerable antiquity, hastily scribbled and illegible notes, and various bits of fluff. Hidden in the depths is a worn but valuable Barclays business card. On it there is a telephone number at the end of which lies regained if temporary solvency.

Except that the relentless march of modernisation and service improvement continues apace.

I phone the number, to hear a message telling me that it has been "replacedwithanewnumberwhichfollows:0845somethingsomethingsomethingsomethingelse." >Pause< "I shall now repeat that number, 0845somethingsomethingsomethingsomethingelse."

On the third redial I manage to get the number down.

Now we're in unfamiliar territory, and the telephone is no longer my friend.

"If your account is x; press y. If you wish to a; press b"

What the f***k is this all about? Where's the friendly little Telfordian I usually speak to?

"Now please enter the number on the front of you Connect Card"

Which one? There's three. Er... guess.

Guessed correctly!

Yay me.

"Please enter your five-digit telephone banking identity number."

Come again? What five-digit telephone banking identity number? Is that like my four-digit PIN number?

"Response not recognised. Please enter your five-digit telephone banking identity number."

>Wimper<

"Response not recognised. Please enter your five-digit telephone banking identity number."

>meep<

"Response not recognised. Please wait while you are transferred to one of our operators" klik…wrr..bleep..klik "Hello? Mr Lea?!

Oh, thank Christ for that.

"Sorry...?"

I'd like to transfer...

nyarbaggytep's right. Bewildered is the word.

Telephone Banking

Mm. A second posting in one work day. Just how busy can I be?

Not so busy that I can't rant about today's pet nark which is telephone banking.

When first I moved to London some twenty years ago, I quite liked the idea that my bank manager was 150 odd miles away and couldn't bug me face to face. Of course, with the advent of digital technology physical distance is no longer a salient factor in avoiding one's bankers. Three or four years ago I toyed briefly with the idea of on-line banking, but dismissed it as being too hackable, and my financial position is too parlous at the best of times without broadcasting my account details on to the world wide web. So, telephone banking it was (and is).

Over the years this has stood me in good stead. From time to time the bank writes to remind me that theory behind banking is that I lodge money with them, not vice versa, and depending upon the contents of my wallet, expected levels of expenditure and the temporal distance to pay day, I either ignore them or phone them up and transfer funds from what I laughingly refer to as my savings account.

Today I received one of those letters - the sort that suggests that they've mislaid Mexico's overdraft behind mine, now given that I get paid on Thursday, I was initially minded just to grit my teeth and see it through. But then I realised that the quiz season starts tonight and a fiver in the pocket, with assorted shrapnel just ain't going to cut it. So I dig out the moth eaten thing that is my wallet, loaded as usual with old train tickets, business cards, receipts for unidentifiable and forgotten purchases of venerable antiquity, hastily scribbled and illegible notes, and various bits of fluff. Hidden in the depths is a worn but valuable Barclays business card. On it there is a telephone number at the end of which lies regained if temporary solvency.

Except that the relentless march of modernisation and service improvement continues apace.

I phone the number, to hear a message telling me that it has been "replacedwithanewnumberwhichfollows:0845somethingsomethingsomethingsomethingelse." >Pause< "I shall now repeat that number, 0845somethingsomethingsomethingsomethingelse."

On the third redial I manage to get the number down.

Now we're in unfamiliar territory, and the telephone is no longer my friend.

"If your account is x; press y. If you wish to a; press b"

What the f***k is this all about? Where's the friendly little Telfordian I usually speak to?

"Now please enter the number on the front of you Connect Card"

Which one? There's three. Er... guess.

Guessed correctly!

Yay me.

"Please enter your five-digit telephone banking identity number."

Come again? What five-digit telephone banking identity number? Is that like my four-digit PIN number?

"Response not recognised. Please enter your five-digit telephone banking identity number."

>Wimper<

"Response not recognised. Please enter your five-digit telephone banking identity number."

>meep<

"Response not recognised. Please wait while you are transferred to one of our operators" klik…wrr..bleep..klik "Hello? Mr Lea?!

Oh, thank Christ for that.

"Sorry...?"

I'd like to transfer...

nyarbaggytep's right. Bewildered is the word.

Help: IT types

Do any of you good people know what I might inadvertently have done to stop my Firefox browser automatically looking for the latest version of a page when I log on?

Unless I hit the refresh button, I just get the last cached version. I didn't consciously alter the settings and now I can't work out how to fix it. Any suggestions, chaps?

Help: IT types

Do any of you good people know what I might inadvertently have done to stop my Firefox browser automatically looking for the latest version of a page when I log on?

Unless I hit the refresh button, I just get the last cached version. I didn't consciously alter the settings and now I can't work out how to fix it. Any suggestions, chaps?