Fekkin' e-mail applications

Well, my PC keeps wanting to install Office 2000 despite the fact I never asked it to (as far as I am aware), and don't have any disks for it. At the sdame time, Outlook Excess now lets me receive mail, but won't let me send.

I got fed up and installed Thunderbird.

That won't let me send, either. I cannot, for the life of me, see what settings I have got wrong on either application. Thank God for webmail until I've worked it out, that's all I can say.

Ho hum.

Well, bed now, I suppose.

Fekkin' e-mail applications

Well, my PC keeps wanting to install Office 2000 despite the fact I never asked it to (as far as I am aware), and don't have any disks for it. At the sdame time, Outlook Excess now lets me receive mail, but won't let me send.

I got fed up and installed Thunderbird.

That won't let me send, either. I cannot, for the life of me, see what settings I have got wrong on either application. Thank God for webmail until I've worked it out, that's all I can say.

Ho hum.

Well, bed now, I suppose.

St Valentine: Do you know what you're celebrating?

It seems that no-one really knows a great deal about St Valentine.

He was, variously, a priest in the Roman Empire who helped persecuted Christians during the reign of Claudius II, and who was thrown in jail and later beheaded on Feb. 14. Alternatively, he was a Catholic bishop of Terni who was beheaded, also during the reign of Claudius II (I think it's fair to assume that Claudkius II didn't like people called Valentine). He may also have been someone who secretly married couples when marriage was forbidden, or suffered in Africa, or wrote letters to his jailer's daughter, and was probably beheaded.

Equally likely, he was all, some, or possibly none of the above.

These days, of course, St Valentine is something else entirely.

To many, if not most people, he is the personification of romantic love; a reason to celebrate relationships disclosed and undisclosed, requited and unrequited.

However, like most traditions, it has its origins elsewhere. Look to Lupercalia, the ancient Roman celebration, for the origins of the custom. The Lupercalia recalled the primitive days of Rome's existence, when, according to Roman tradition, a small community of shepherds lived in thatched huts on the Palatine hill, ruled by the founder of Rome, Romulus. Dionysius of Halicarnassus tells us that in his day (first century BC), one of these huts, made out of sticks and reeds, stood on the slope of the Palatine toward the Circus Maximus. This hut was honoured as a sacred place and was kept in good repair (Roman Antiquities 1.79.11).

In general, the ancients viewed the Lupercalia as a purification and fertility rite. The ritual involved the sacrifice of goats and a dog in the Lupercal by priests called Luperci,¹who smeared the foreheads of two noble young men with the blood of the sacrificed animals and then wiped it off. At this point, the youths were required to laugh. Then the luperci, clothed in loincloths, ran about the area, lashing everyone they met with strips of skin from the sacrificed goats. Young wives were particularly eager to receive these blows, because it was believed that the ritual promoted fertility and easy childbirth. These ceremonies were accompanied by much revelry and drinking.

Now, more worryingly, this all survives in another form: look carefully at your friends list, and see if you can find this name anywhere: lupercal.

Beware.

Every time you invoke St Valentine, every time you buy, send or receive a Valentine's day card, you are slowly shifting the paradigm. Wake up, people, you are worshipping a pseudo-deity called Cthimon! Cthtop it while you cthtill can. Or you will end up typing with a lithp, too.

¹Cicero describes the Luperci as: A certain wild association of Lupercalian brothers, both plainly pastoral and savage, whose rustic alliance was formed before civilization and laws... (Cael. 26)

St Valentine: Do you know what you're celebrating?

It seems that no-one really knows a great deal about St Valentine.

He was, variously, a priest in the Roman Empire who helped persecuted Christians during the reign of Claudius II, and who was thrown in jail and later beheaded on Feb. 14. Alternatively, he was a Catholic bishop of Terni who was beheaded, also during the reign of Claudius II (I think it's fair to assume that Claudkius II didn't like people called Valentine). He may also have been someone who secretly married couples when marriage was forbidden, or suffered in Africa, or wrote letters to his jailer's daughter, and was probably beheaded.

Equally likely, he was all, some, or possibly none of the above.

These days, of course, St Valentine is something else entirely.

To many, if not most people, he is the personification of romantic love; a reason to celebrate relationships disclosed and undisclosed, requited and unrequited.

However, like most traditions, it has its origins elsewhere. Look to Lupercalia, the ancient Roman celebration, for the origins of the custom. The Lupercalia recalled the primitive days of Rome's existence, when, according to Roman tradition, a small community of shepherds lived in thatched huts on the Palatine hill, ruled by the founder of Rome, Romulus. Dionysius of Halicarnassus tells us that in his day (first century BC), one of these huts, made out of sticks and reeds, stood on the slope of the Palatine toward the Circus Maximus. This hut was honoured as a sacred place and was kept in good repair (Roman Antiquities 1.79.11).

In general, the ancients viewed the Lupercalia as a purification and fertility rite. The ritual involved the sacrifice of goats and a dog in the Lupercal by priests called Luperci,¹who smeared the foreheads of two noble young men with the blood of the sacrificed animals and then wiped it off. At this point, the youths were required to laugh. Then the luperci, clothed in loincloths, ran about the area, lashing everyone they met with strips of skin from the sacrificed goats. Young wives were particularly eager to receive these blows, because it was believed that the ritual promoted fertility and easy childbirth. These ceremonies were accompanied by much revelry and drinking.

Now, more worryingly, this all survives in another form: look carefully at your friends list, and see if you can find this name anywhere: lupercal.

Beware.

Every time you invoke St Valentine, every time you buy, send or receive a Valentine's day card, you are slowly shifting the paradigm. Wake up, people, you are worshipping a pseudo-deity called Cthimon! Cthtop it while you cthtill can. Or you will end up typing with a lithp, too.

¹Cicero describes the Luperci as: A certain wild association of Lupercalian brothers, both plainly pastoral and savage, whose rustic alliance was formed before civilization and laws... (Cael. 26)