The Special One

Having spent a humongous amount of money building a team that has won two Premiership titles, the FA Cup and the Mickey Mouse Carling Cup (twice), the BBC reports that self-styled Special One, Jose Mourinho has quit Chelsea football club.

Not a popular view amongst non-Chelsea fans, I quite like the bloke. The level of arrogance was breathtaking and the quotes in the past couple of weeks worthy of Cantona. For all that drivel alone, I shall miss him.

The Special One

Having spent a humongous amount of money building a team that has won two Premiership titles, the FA Cup and the Mickey Mouse Carling Cup (twice), the BBC reports that self-styled Special One, Jose Mourinho has quit Chelsea football club.

Not a popular view amongst non-Chelsea fans, I quite like the bloke. The level of arrogance was breathtaking and the quotes in the past couple of weeks worthy of Cantona. For all that drivel alone, I shall miss him.

Newspapers, China, Mammoth Dung and Chocolate

I have checked the date and to the best of my knowledge it is 20th September, not 1st April. I could be wrong, but in this case I think that it would take a conspiracy a magnitude or two beyond anything even the Illuminati could conjure.

London is a city of free newspapers and magazines; it has been ever since I moved here, back in 1984. In those days, however, you had to go looking for them around mainline stations. There would be metal trays with specialist publications aimed at Aussies, Kiwis and South Africans etc; kids backpacking around the world and working their way as they did so. Every now and then, someone would launch an evening paper to go up against the mighty Evening Standard (Not a free paper), but they would inevitably founder after a couple of months.

Nowadays, along side all the specialist free press, we have free newspapers that seem to have taken root – tune in another day for a rant about distribution methods. In the morning we have The Metro, whilst in the evening The Londonpaper does nightly battle with London Lite. The main difference, as far as I can see, being the latter’s boast that it uses ink that won’t come off on your hand.

The most impressive publication, however, is The Epoch Times. Theoretically published every Wednesday, it generally gets to the Victoria area on alternate Thursdays, when well-meaning but harassed Chinese people hand them out. Sometimes I take one, other times I don’t. I wasn’t going to have one this morning, but the little Chinese lady was so insistent in her fractured English that I take one and read up on important Chinese-related issues of great import, that I took it off her just to keep her quiet.

In the event, I am quite glad I did. In addition to a headline story about how beastly the authorities in Beijing (henceforth Peking, because it is traditional and only a transliteration to boot) are being to a village of petitioners – romantically named No.60 Dongzhuang – by demolishing it and throwing its residents into labour camps for petitioning against some outrage as yet undisclosed. Let’s all wave cheerily to the acceptable face of communism and the forth coming Peking Olympics ideal.

Anyway, nasty as that is, it is a digression. What grabbed my attention immediately was the article the paper had picked up from Reuters’ Russian correspondent blaming mammoth dung for the speeding up of global warming. It has been several tens of thousands of years, or last Thursday week if you are a creationist, since the woolly mammoth roamed the world. Their turds are more enduring, it seems, but now they are going a bit smelly. As they do so, they are ruining the climate. God only knows what these mammoths used to get up to; the report suggests that – and I quote – “The deposits of organic matter (my italics) in these soils are so gigantic that they dwarf global oil reserves.” That’s a lot of mammoth shit. Apparently it covers an area the size of Germany and France combined. If it’s bad now, imagine what it smelt like a week last Thursday (if you’re a creationist).

Lucky the buggers are extinct, I say.

The other item that had me checking the date is entirely less serious (because mammoth poo is funny but worrying).

I am indebted to failing_angel for finding this nugget on the ever entertaining intarweb.

Chocolate covered bacon from Vosges Haut-Chocolat. I kid you not. Smoky bacon covered in chocolate


...and a picture to boot!

Newspapers, China, Mammoth Dung and Chocolate

I have checked the date and to the best of my knowledge it is 20th September, not 1st April. I could be wrong, but in this case I think that it would take a conspiracy a magnitude or two beyond anything even the Illuminati could conjure.

London is a city of free newspapers and magazines; it has been ever since I moved here, back in 1984. In those days, however, you had to go looking for them around mainline stations. There would be metal trays with specialist publications aimed at Aussies, Kiwis and South Africans etc; kids backpacking around the world and working their way as they did so. Every now and then, someone would launch an evening paper to go up against the mighty Evening Standard (Not a free paper), but they would inevitably founder after a couple of months.

Nowadays, along side all the specialist free press, we have free newspapers that seem to have taken root – tune in another day for a rant about distribution methods. In the morning we have The Metro, whilst in the evening The Londonpaper does nightly battle with London Lite. The main difference, as far as I can see, being the latter’s boast that it uses ink that won’t come off on your hand.

The most impressive publication, however, is The Epoch Times. Theoretically published every Wednesday, it generally gets to the Victoria area on alternate Thursdays, when well-meaning but harassed Chinese people hand them out. Sometimes I take one, other times I don’t. I wasn’t going to have one this morning, but the little Chinese lady was so insistent in her fractured English that I take one and read up on important Chinese-related issues of great import, that I took it off her just to keep her quiet.

In the event, I am quite glad I did. In addition to a headline story about how beastly the authorities in Beijing (henceforth Peking, because it is traditional and only a transliteration to boot) are being to a village of petitioners – romantically named No.60 Dongzhuang – by demolishing it and throwing its residents into labour camps for petitioning against some outrage as yet undisclosed. Let’s all wave cheerily to the acceptable face of communism and the forth coming Peking Olympics ideal.

Anyway, nasty as that is, it is a digression. What grabbed my attention immediately was the article the paper had picked up from Reuters’ Russian correspondent blaming mammoth dung for the speeding up of global warming. It has been several tens of thousands of years, or last Thursday week if you are a creationist, since the woolly mammoth roamed the world. Their turds are more enduring, it seems, but now they are going a bit smelly. As they do so, they are ruining the climate. God only knows what these mammoths used to get up to; the report suggests that – and I quote – “The deposits of organic matter (my italics) in these soils are so gigantic that they dwarf global oil reserves.” That’s a lot of mammoth shit. Apparently it covers an area the size of Germany and France combined. If it’s bad now, imagine what it smelt like a week last Thursday (if you’re a creationist).

Lucky the buggers are extinct, I say.

The other item that had me checking the date is entirely less serious (because mammoth poo is funny but worrying).

I am indebted to failing_angel for finding this nugget on the ever entertaining intarweb.

Chocolate covered bacon from Vosges Haut-Chocolat. I kid you not. Smoky bacon covered in chocolate


...and a picture to boot!

Mobile telephony

My current contract with O2 runs until March next year. Carphone Warehouse however, tell me that upgrades become possible 15 months into an 18 month contract - the mobile companies don't always allow them at that point, but they will at least listen and they can only say "no". Apart from which, the threat to let the contract expire and go somewhere else often brings out the best in their customer relations services.

I don't need my phone to do much; it must make telephone calls and do texts, obviously. I also like them to have GPRS/WAP. Beyond that, cameras and music players are not entirely necessary, though I do quite like having them available.

I wandered down Victoria Street to have a look at what is currently and soon to be available. Two reasons really. Firstly I like to know well in advance what I am likely to be aiming for when I upgrade, and secondly, Furtle's phone is behaving oddly again and her contract is up around the same time as mine. The timing was also influenced by the announcement that O2 will be launching the iPhone in the UK in about 6 weeks. Now I don't want one of those, but I am expecting it to stimulate a flurry of new handsets by rival manufacturers, so I was keen to see what is happeneing in the ephermeral world of mobile telephones.

Well, I have found my replacement phone and in December I shall start investigating properly. In the meantime, here is the Motorola RAZR2 V8. Oh, joy.



Motorola UK website

Mobile telephony

My current contract with O2 runs until March next year. Carphone Warehouse however, tell me that upgrades become possible 15 months into an 18 month contract - the mobile companies don't always allow them at that point, but they will at least listen and they can only say "no". Apart from which, the threat to let the contract expire and go somewhere else often brings out the best in their customer relations services.

I don't need my phone to do much; it must make telephone calls and do texts, obviously. I also like them to have GPRS/WAP. Beyond that, cameras and music players are not entirely necessary, though I do quite like having them available.

I wandered down Victoria Street to have a look at what is currently and soon to be available. Two reasons really. Firstly I like to know well in advance what I am likely to be aiming for when I upgrade, and secondly, Furtle's phone is behaving oddly again and her contract is up around the same time as mine. The timing was also influenced by the announcement that O2 will be launching the iPhone in the UK in about 6 weeks. Now I don't want one of those, but I am expecting it to stimulate a flurry of new handsets by rival manufacturers, so I was keen to see what is happeneing in the ephermeral world of mobile telephones.

Well, I have found my replacement phone and in December I shall start investigating properly. In the meantime, here is the Motorola RAZR2 V8. Oh, joy.



Motorola UK website