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whether the weather...
Friday, June 25th, 2010 10:55 amUnlike the generally received wisdom of our age, I actively dislike this weather. I haven’t really watched TV apart from Doctor Who or a couple of World Cup matches for some months1, so I am merely surmising.
My assumption is that whenever the weather forecast comes up on telly, generally directly after the National and/or local news, some orange-faced dweeb on amphetamines will be waving a hand inaccurately at a back-projected map of the country or region and babbling happily about the “glorious weather” and the fact that temperatures will be at levels that will make lead sweat, while there is nothing but blue sky for at least 14 hours a day seven days a week. Between back-projected maps, there will be jolly photos of a lush and green countryside and playful pictures of people sautéing themselves on beaches. There may even be a ‘humorous’ picture of some fatty dropping a melting ice cream down their bib.
No matter that in reality, the countryside is soon to bake a rather orangy brown, news programmes are reporting the beginning of water restrictions and hose pipe bans and the NHS are warning people to stay indoors or suffer heat induced heart attacks, it’s ”glorious weather”. Well, it’s not. It’s at least ten degrees too warm – Britain is not supposed to be hotter than Malta or on a par with Crete.
I am fed up with being unable to sleep at night because I’m too hot and the noise of the fan is annoying me. I am fed up with feeling clammy and sweaty every waking hour. If I wanted these temperatures, I’d elect to live in the tropics, thank you very much!
And even the average desert gets cool at night.
1We do get through shed loads of DVD viewing, though!
My assumption is that whenever the weather forecast comes up on telly, generally directly after the National and/or local news, some orange-faced dweeb on amphetamines will be waving a hand inaccurately at a back-projected map of the country or region and babbling happily about the “glorious weather” and the fact that temperatures will be at levels that will make lead sweat, while there is nothing but blue sky for at least 14 hours a day seven days a week. Between back-projected maps, there will be jolly photos of a lush and green countryside and playful pictures of people sautéing themselves on beaches. There may even be a ‘humorous’ picture of some fatty dropping a melting ice cream down their bib.
No matter that in reality, the countryside is soon to bake a rather orangy brown, news programmes are reporting the beginning of water restrictions and hose pipe bans and the NHS are warning people to stay indoors or suffer heat induced heart attacks, it’s ”glorious weather”. Well, it’s not. It’s at least ten degrees too warm – Britain is not supposed to be hotter than Malta or on a par with Crete.
I am fed up with being unable to sleep at night because I’m too hot and the noise of the fan is annoying me. I am fed up with feeling clammy and sweaty every waking hour. If I wanted these temperatures, I’d elect to live in the tropics, thank you very much!
And even the average desert gets cool at night.
1We do get through shed loads of DVD viewing, though!