Hiccups

Monday, October 13th, 2008 02:28 pm
caddyman: (Tastless Bill)
[personal profile] caddyman
I’m not sure that vitamins agree with me.

I ate my lunch – a rather more healthy lunch than I’m used to: a salad that was part Greek, part Caesar with that squiffy orange rice/semolina stuff in it to bulk it out a little. Very tasty it was, too. Since I still felt a bit hungry, I scarfed back the carrots and hummus that I’d brought as a snack, safe in the knowledge that I have a couple of Granny Smiths available should I find myself on the edge of starvation during the afternoon.

Shortly after this feast, I developed hiccups. Hiccups can be embarrassing in an open plan office, but after what seemed like an age (probably six or seven minutes) I managed to stifle them by the simple expedient of holding my breath until I went green. That took a little longer than usual because I remained seated and it took longer to use up the oxygen. I normally stand up and pace around holding my breath as a hiccup cure, but felt that the sight of a silently pacing Bryan turning a deeper and deeper shade of crimson, eyes all abulge in the office may have drawn comment, so I remained at my desk.

This got me thinking about hiccup cures. Holding my breath always does it for me, though sometimes it takes a number of attempts, particularly if I have been imbibing of the grape or the hop. Before I discovered that oxygen deprivation is the key, however, I had tried a number of techniques over the years, some of which worked in varying levels of the term, occasionally but nothing that worked every time.

One of the most impressive cures was supplied by [livejournal.com profile] boroshan back in the late 80s. A bunch of us had been off on a jaunt down the Fulham Road for reasons now lost in the mists of time, though a movie and BEER may have been involved. We were walking back up to the Gloucester Road area through those avenues of posh town squares surrounded by what were once multi-storey homes for the extremely well-to-do, but which are now expensive flats for the slightly less well-to-do, that Kensington and Chelsea specialises in. I developed quite aggressive hiccups which absolutely refused to go. I believe that I tried holding my breath, but was possibly a little too tired and emotional to give of my best, so they hiccups remained. They got louder, too.

Eventually, on the basis that a shock often works (though it is less often that you can engineer a proper shock), [livejournal.com profile] boroshan snuck up behind be and leapt on my back with a blood curdling yell that brought an equally blood draining squeak of terror from your unprepared correspondent. Immediately several dozen lights came on, windows opened and curtains twitched. In a bout of tired and emotional shock and annoyance, I recall giving the hapless denizens of SW7 a loud and linguistically uncomplicated diatribe about nosy neighbours who watch but don’t intervene and I could be dying right now, thanks ever so much.

That sort of thing.

Got rid of the hiccups for me, though.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-10-13 01:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snorkel-maiden.livejournal.com
Breathing into a paper bag (or a plastic one, at a pinch) normally works for me, temporarily at least. I tend to get hiccups once a year, but when they do come they stay, intermittently, for a couple of days and leave me feeling bruised and a little jumpy.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-10-13 01:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ed-fortune.livejournal.com
A Fortune, being quite terrifying at an utterly inappropiate time? Perish the thought :)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-10-13 02:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] caddyman.livejournal.com
I know!

Unbelievable, isn't it?

(no subject)

Date: 2008-10-13 03:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fredlums.livejournal.com
I'll have words with himself when he gets home I will!!

My cure for hiccups (which almost always works) is to apply two fingers (now now calm down!) to the pressure points on the inside of the wrist and get the hiccupee (?) to sit quietly and the hiccicoughs go away

(no subject)

Date: 2008-10-14 03:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] caddyman.livejournal.com
He's a wag, that husband of yours!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-10-13 02:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] binidj.livejournal.com
I was taught a foolproof method of curing hiccoughs some years ago and have used it to great effect ever since. The hardest part is convincing the "patient" that I'm not going to do anything shocking or unpleasant. Sadly it's one of those things that has to be demonstrated (mostly because I lack the skill to create written instructions) and I've also never managed to do it successfully to myself.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-10-13 03:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] caffeine-fairy.livejournal.com
The only sure fire hiccup dure is orgasm.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-10-13 11:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fractalgeek.livejournal.com
Is that a regular one, or does it have to be a surprise?

(no subject)

Date: 2008-10-14 08:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] caffeine-fairy.livejournal.com
Well, it's generally a surprise to Gary ;o)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-10-13 08:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladkyis.livejournal.com
Wow! now I have to try that..... what will give me hiccups?

My patent method

Date: 2008-10-13 11:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fractalgeek.livejournal.com
Drink a glass of water, while holding your nose, and making sure that the water level is above your lips, so no air is introduced.

Can be used in public, unlike [livejournal.com profile] caffeine_fairy's otherwise excellent-sounding technique.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-10-14 03:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] drjohnsilence.livejournal.com
He's done that to me as well. Not sure I had the hiccups, though...

(no subject)

Date: 2008-10-14 09:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] w00hoo.livejournal.com
It's all about controlling your breathing, which is why all of the cures (aside from the 'being scared' one) are specifically to do with concentrating on, or stopping your ability for, breathing.

I've seen 'bending over and drinking out of the wrong side of a glass of water', 'just holding breath', 'drinking water normally', and all manner of other things tried often with success. I go for just holding my breath and concentrating on them going away which generally works pretty quickly.

Apparently the US Army had (may still have) a Standard Operating Procedure for hiccups during the Vietnam era. If you started hiccupping then you got another member of your patrol (the closest one) and held your hands out level in front of you. They then took hold of your hands and you both concentrated on each others eyes until you'd got them under control.

I'd imagine the embarassment of having to do all of that would probably give you the bodily control you needed pretty quickly. But again it's basically about concentrating on controlling you breathing rather than anything else.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-10-14 11:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladkyis.livejournal.com
when you put it like that it's no fun, I prefer caffeine-fairy's method. I just need something to give me hiccups and then...

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