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caddymanSt Swithin’s Day only applies to weather, right? Reassure me, someone; anyone?
I travelled in to work today in a tube train crammed with five and six year old kids. Seven to elevens are fine, they are loud and enthusiastic, but tend to group into little corners and giggle. Twelve to fourteen, still loud, but less enthusiastic: tending to smell of milk biscuits. Post fourteen, quiet and blessedly sullen; much BO and acne. Unless, of course, they are holding up the train and demanding money with menaces.
The little kids though, should not be let out in groups larger than four. It’s all an adventure and this musty be demonstrated in the loudest and most ebullient manner possible, preferably by bouncing on seats, having squealing competitions. Their voices are pitched just right to fray your nerves along their entire length and they have infinite lung capacity, so the ululation is continuous. The teachers are unable to cope. The male teachers are too timid and weedy; the female teachers, having squeezed their size forty arses into size twenty seats are effectively immobilised. The student teachers think it’s all great fun and that the kids should be allowed to express themselves. The kids themselves are like an invasion of Martians except that they are annoyingly immune to many of the bacteria that kill aliens, being the source of those self-same bacteria.
One of these days they’ll get a fifty year old expressing himself.
I travelled in to work today in a tube train crammed with five and six year old kids. Seven to elevens are fine, they are loud and enthusiastic, but tend to group into little corners and giggle. Twelve to fourteen, still loud, but less enthusiastic: tending to smell of milk biscuits. Post fourteen, quiet and blessedly sullen; much BO and acne. Unless, of course, they are holding up the train and demanding money with menaces.
The little kids though, should not be let out in groups larger than four. It’s all an adventure and this musty be demonstrated in the loudest and most ebullient manner possible, preferably by bouncing on seats, having squealing competitions. Their voices are pitched just right to fray your nerves along their entire length and they have infinite lung capacity, so the ululation is continuous. The teachers are unable to cope. The male teachers are too timid and weedy; the female teachers, having squeezed their size forty arses into size twenty seats are effectively immobilised. The student teachers think it’s all great fun and that the kids should be allowed to express themselves. The kids themselves are like an invasion of Martians except that they are annoyingly immune to many of the bacteria that kill aliens, being the source of those self-same bacteria.
One of these days they’ll get a fifty year old expressing himself.