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caddymanSitting as I do, with my eyes closed on the Tube during my morning commute, I was not in a position to get a view of the woman sitting next to me for much of the trip. To be honest, even if I sat and read, I doubt that I should have turned and looked directly at her, it’s just plain rude.
I mention this simply because my entire mental picture of her (and normally I wouldn’t have one) is based upon the fact that I think she had been swimming in an olympic size pool of very strong scent. I don’t know what it was, but by crackey, it was powerful and there was a lot of it. Maybe she had a cold and hadn’t noticed, but I swear that I could hear people’s eyes watering. That would have been quite enough to make me rue the journey in, but I think she had also breakfasted on ancient and over-ripe salami. I think a direct blast of the combined miasma would have dropped a buffalo at fifty paces.
More worryingly, despite the fact that I was wearing my leather jacket and clutching my rucksack like a safety blanket, I think some of the smell has been absorbed by my shirt through osmosis. Either that or the scent has burnt itself into my nose so thoroughly that I shall smell it for a week.
It was powerful, people. Powerful.
I mention this simply because my entire mental picture of her (and normally I wouldn’t have one) is based upon the fact that I think she had been swimming in an olympic size pool of very strong scent. I don’t know what it was, but by crackey, it was powerful and there was a lot of it. Maybe she had a cold and hadn’t noticed, but I swear that I could hear people’s eyes watering. That would have been quite enough to make me rue the journey in, but I think she had also breakfasted on ancient and over-ripe salami. I think a direct blast of the combined miasma would have dropped a buffalo at fifty paces.
More worryingly, despite the fact that I was wearing my leather jacket and clutching my rucksack like a safety blanket, I think some of the smell has been absorbed by my shirt through osmosis. Either that or the scent has burnt itself into my nose so thoroughly that I shall smell it for a week.
It was powerful, people. Powerful.