Sith still and pay attention

[caddyman]

The cultural imperative is fulfilled, and I can now go on with the rest of my life. All in all, I think it would have been better to watch the European Cup final – especially in view of the result, but when ticket purchase was offered, I forgot about the game entirely, and said yes.

So, was it worth the wait; was it any good? Suffice it to say that cliché is officially dead. Lucas has bought the rights to every cinematic cliché out there. He has repainted, remodelled and polished them, and placed them on prominent display as part of the background. They have entered the mainstream – particularly the ever cheesy, Noooooooooo!!!! (It’s that Toy Story 2 moment, but Buzz and Woody did it better).

Quite apart from technical innovation, though – the movie is as pretty and busy as ever – Lucas has to be commended on his ability to coax wooden displays from otherwise talented actors. Ewan MacGregor struggled manfully with the horrible dialogue, a couple of times going through what should have been a dark and melancholic scene with a suppressed smile on his face (Don’t think about the dialogue. Think about the money). Natalie Portman tried hard, but had nothing to work with. It must be hard enough to act against blue screen, but to combine that with a plank for most of the movie…

Which brings me to George Lucas, who receives my heartiest congratulations. In casting Hayden Christiansen to play Darth Vader, he has made another addition to the cinematic process: the petulant piece of wood. Back in the days when the original movies were filmed, the actors played to a prop which was then replaced with a creature through various techniques. Now, the actor is digitally replaced by a piece of mahogany. The circle is complete.

Questions:

1 Did anybody see what happened to Anakin’s light sabre at the end of his fight with Obi-Wan? I ask because someone asked me. I was past caring by then.

2 When the little green bogey was fighting the bigger grey one, could anyone remember which one of the two originally had Jim Henson’s hand up his bum? At times the CGI Yoda was a more believable actor than Emperor (“Behind You”) Palpatine. A long and distinguished line of pantomime turns would have been horribly bewildered by that performance.

3 Is the wearing of odd buns on the side of the head genetic?

Given that you probably have no choice but to watch the movie – it’s practically the law, after all – do yourself a favour. Go on an Orange two-for-one night, get the cheapest deal you can. Pay no more than £3.80 for the privilege. At that price you can ignore the dialogue and think of the money you’ve saved.

Comments

>you probably have no choice but watching the movie

[westernind.livejournal.com]

forbinproject and jimfer went last night. They asked me to turn to the dark side and I Just Said No.

Glad I did now.

Jedi mind trick

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

Despite the reviews, you will see the movie....

Re: Jedi mind trick

[westernind.livejournal.com]

Is your spare room set up as a studio yet?

Re: Jedi mind trick

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

Yep.

Hard luck. ;-)

Re: Jedi mind trick

[westernind.livejournal.com]

feck.

How long do I have to go without seeing the movie before I count as not having seen the movie?

Re: Jedi mind trick

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

About six weeks as a rule, but this may take as long as eight.

I'll give it 12 weeks

[westernind.livejournal.com]

In which case I am so win.

Ask me again in three months' time. :-)

[blue-room.livejournal.com]

Mark W: "Toy Story did it better", Owch in a word.

I am SO sad...

[caffeine-fairy.livejournal.com]

Obi Wan (ps?) picked up Anakin's lightsabre at the end of their fight.

Re: I am SO sad...

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

Then continuity is served...

Re: I am SO sad...

[rotwang.livejournal.com]

I thought it was a touching moment that showed the Jedi as true carers; notwithstanding that he was at the time just watching as his erstwhile friend and pupil (apparently) burned slowly to death after having had his legs chopped off...

Re: I am SO sad...

[binidj.livejournal.com]

<geek>The Jedi were actually portrayed as un-caring. Care leading to love, love leading to fear, fear leading to hate, etc.</geek>

But yes, I found that section a little odd too. Although Obi-Wan's choices at that point were somewhat limited given that he didn't have a fire extinguisher or anything.

Re: I am SO sad...

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

He could have administered the coup de grace.

Would have buggered continuity, mind.

Re: I am SO sad...

[thomryng.livejournal.com]

It also would have violated the all-powerful Jedi code: never kill an unarmed foe. Shows up the failure of the code: the Jedi are so given to legalisms they've completely fogotten compassion.

[agentinfinity.livejournal.com]

Having watched three of the films the day before with Twine and Ian Over we had formulated various Star Wars theories, one of which was that Obi Wan is basically a thug who likes bar room brawls and chopping people's limbs off. Thus we were delighted that he managed to take three limbs in one go. No wonder he retired afterwards.

I thoroughly enjoyed the Palpatine smoked ham. "I'm soooo weeak," was my favourite bit. I think maybe I just don't take the newer films seriously anymore, and therefore enjoyed it.

[mr-h-r-hughes.livejournal.com]

Palpatine is my new God Lea, leave him alone he was as magnificent as a Daschund dressed in russian officer,s uniform!

Revenge of the unfortunate anagram

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

He's a muppet who sounds like an Intergalactic Mr Bean.

[ysharros.livejournal.com]

I haven't seen it either and I'm not going to. Maybe when it comes on the telly. Maybe.

[binidj.livejournal.com]

Well I liked it, actually I liked it a lot more that Episodes I and II and a bit more than Episode VI.

Wookies > Ewoks.

[tadeous.livejournal.com]

Wookies = Unnecessary to the film other than as a way to crowbar in another charecter from the original trilogy?

[thomryng.livejournal.com]

My sincere hope is for more gratuitous Wookies in the DVD release.

[mr-h-r-hughes.livejournal.com]

I enjoyed it too.

[thomryng.livejournal.com]

1. Obi-Wan picks up the lightsabre as he's walking away from baked Anakin.

2. Since my assumption is that all actors these days are marionettes, it makes no nevermind to me. Come to think of it, I've only got your say-so that you aren't a marionette...

3. Not specifically. Bad taste, however, is absolutely genetic. Or perhaps Leia is simply a retro-chick.