Umbrella Stands

[caddyman]

Where does the time go? My last day before going back to work is more than half over, and tomorrow it will automatically feel as though there's been no holiday at all. Ah well, c'est la vie.

Having spent much of the past fortnight elsewhere, I shall have to nip out to Waitrose later this afternoon and purchase viands¹ for the forthcoming (half) week. Basic fare is most welcome after the past couple of weeks, but when it falls to bread, butter and a few digestive biscuits, you know instinctively that it is time to do the shopping.

The Athenaeum Club is still distressingly tidy, and continuing in his phase of uncharacteristic domesticity, Beastie (colonel_maxim) has acquired a few cheap lamp shades. An unexpected development, but not unwelcome. It had not occurred to me before, but some of the rooms in the club had a distinct Stasi interrogation room feel, with all the bare bulbs on display. The downside is that I can no longer blow smoke at the light fittings, swing the bulbs and pretend that I am in the opening credits of an episode of Callan².

One of the side effects of this continued tidiness is that the last few stacks of oddities we have not secreted elsewhere tend to stick out like sore thumbs. In the (for want of a better name) utility room for example, we have four walking sticks, three rubber swords, two umbrellas and a crossbow: this is completely true, and the numerical progression is both pleasing and entirely accidental. Stacked as they are, behind the door, they now look untidy and at least one is taking damage. We need an umbrella stand, but it must be a big one to cope; ideally an elephant's foot. I don't suppose anyone has one? No? Well, there's a project for the new year.


¹As was pointed out elsewhere on this journal some time back, it is impossible to buy mere victuals from Waitrose. The Upper Middle Class sensibilities and/or aspirations of the John Lewis Partnership demand that at the very least their retail outlets purvey nothing less than viands, and some will not drop their standards below sweet-meats. For the lesser, bulk commodities, one is required to don carpet slippers and a headscarf and wander in to Sainsbury's or, Heaven forbid, Tesco's. Of course in so doing, life takes on a rather worrying League of Gentlemen slant, and we don't want that, do we?

²A number of my younger readers will not have the faintest clue what I'm talking about here: I suggest Google. Explanations spoil the effect.<sup>3

3</sup>D'OH!

Comments

[agentinfinity.livejournal.com]

I think one of those devices which serve both as hat stand and umbrella stand would look most at home in your domicile.

[scary-lady.livejournal.com]

Your description of Callan set the theme music off in my head.

Now I feel old.

[jfs.livejournal.com]

forbinproject has some of the episodes on DVD. It's still very, very good.

[westernind.livejournal.com]

1. Is the 'utility room' the 'dining room'?
2. If so, suggest coathooks. Apply to wall inside cupboard in corner. Hang up those items which have appropriate hanging appendages; others such as swords, tie leather thong to and hang.
3. You wanna watch that colonel_maxim. It's be rugs and cushions next.

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

Answwers to your points in order:

Yes; but I prefer an elephant's foot! (or a Dr Who hatstand); Oh, Cor Lumme!

[boredinsomniac.livejournal.com]

Tesco! Every Little Helps.

*is "home"sick*