Upper sartoria

[caddyman]

Attention shirt makers!

There is a gap in the market which you are conspicuously failing to fill: shirts with darker backs than fronts. Especially useful in the summer for the city dweller when it is too hot to wear a jacket to work so everything gets bundled into a rucksack instead. These are the days when the public transport system heaters are set to full power and the windows jammed shut. The sun will also shine a little.

In short, it will be hot, even when the sun ain’t shining.

Normal shirts can’t cope. The back, whether you are wearing a jacket or no, carrying a rucksack or no, the back will get moist, perhaps even slick¹. Now it would be so simple to hide this annoying and uncomfortable fact if shirts were made available on which the back panel was of a darker hue than the front. The hideous reality of modern urban life would be hidden from unwary eyes.

While I’m at it, shirts with self-fragrancing arm pits. Think about it.

¹I do apologise for using such language this time of day, particularly the former of the two words, but sometimes it just has to be said. And since I’ve said it once, I shall use the forbidden word again: moist. (May as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb).

Comments

[trav28.livejournal.com]

I agree on the shirts and the fact that moist is a horrid word. It's just....yuck. Reminds me of things rotting in cellars, musty smells, sweating cheese, rot, damp...I could go on but I won't.

[failing-angel.livejournal.com]

Surely the secret is to wear black and tonnes of deoderant?

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

Ooo. Yeach.

[failing-angel.livejournal.com]

Pourquoi?

Black goes with everything.

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

But hot sweaty black, with salty tide marks, the material becoming hard yet pliable even while damp and sticky through the over application of anti pong?

Black is fine, but in hot weather it's a poor choice and attracts the heat even more!

[failing-angel.livejournal.com]

Ok, I see your argument.

How about t-shirt in and change in the toilets?

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

It's a possibility, but carrying additional wardrobe around is poo, too.

[failing-angel.livejournal.com]

surely one shirt isn't too much of a bind?

[agentinfinity.livejournal.com]

With your extreme hatred of both the tube system and London's bizarre (and admittedly unpleasant) microclimate I sometimes wonder why you live there. Do you want to swap? There's a lovely breeze here.

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

Whilst it would be tempting to live in Outer Styxville, with its lovely climate, the commute would raise my blood pressure even further.

[ellefurtle.livejournal.com]

I have never wanted you more.

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

I say...

*twirls moustache...*

[bluesman.livejournal.com]

Now that is love.

I used to 'cycle everywhere, including to work, and a change of clothes was a necessity, and not much of a bother. It meant that I could sit within eight feet of my co-workers without the poor dears having to wear clothes pegs on their noses.

[binidj.livejournal.com]

Might I suggest that sir contacts T.M. Lewin and ask about their "wet-look city gent" line?

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

One thanks you for your suggestion Old Boy, but one simply couldn't go elsewhere than Jermyn Street.