Whadday a mean, Fat?

[caddyman]

Well, I made it to the quack's today and as guessed, I have to lose weight - stay off the spuds, and bread. I'm sure he didn't add cheese to the list simply because he didn't think of it. I know he wanted to tell me to drink less alcohol but was stymied by the fact that I barely drink these days as is. How do people live without potato sandwiches?

I have to arrange to get a blood test, too. Meh. I suppose I'd better go this time. By way of unspoken punishment for not popping in to the practice for eight months, the doctor has decided to test me for just about everything. If I don't get it done this time, it will be a recommendation for almost total exsanguination next time, I reckon, so perhaps I better go while we are only talking about giving up the Hancockian arm full. I really hate having holes poked in me. Still, it's a day off work, I suppose.

I think I might splash out on hypnotherapy. "Look into my eyes, not around my eyes, into my eyes. Spuds are horrid and you hate bread. Lettuce is ambrosia from the Gods and carrots are solid angel tears. Look into my eyes, not around my eyes."

What I need is a GM scientist who knows where the money is: stop breeding mice with human ears on their backs and get me a lettuce that tastes like a sirloin steak.

And now I'm tired but I just know that I won't manage to sleep for a while. I'm too full with pizza. Didn't have any spare veggies in the house, see, and it was games night. Tomorrow is quiz night. I'm not looking forward to that, either, even though I shall get to drink a few pints of the stuff I barely touch these days.

It wasn't planned like this, but timing is all. The Karma Pixies do so love their irony. I guess I really ought to buy that exercise bike I promised myself a while back. Or an exercise moped. That would be nice.

Comments

[cowjam.livejournal.com]

Potato sandwich = chip butty?

Damnit man you're making me hungry. Last time I visit the doctors for a checkup she told me I could do with eating more chips and pies.

[fredlums.livejournal.com]

Suggest a change of docs to the one cowjam sees.

[nortysarah.livejournal.com]

No no no. Pizza is the food of satan. Pizza has an equivalent carbohydrate value per 100g to mars bars. Eat pizza and you will look like a large italian mobster! Carbs by themselves aren't bad, but the problem is that they are very bland so we tend to make them taste nice by putting fat on them - bread and butter, baked potato and cheese. Did he test you for diabetes? If you stay away from carbs altogether you might find yourself feeling really rubbish.

[november-girl.livejournal.com]

I recommend mashed cauliflower and/or sweet potato as a substitute for mashed potato. It fills almost the same culinary place yet is nowhere near as fattening.

[bibliogirl.livejournal.com]

Stick with the cauliflower rather than the sweet potato if you're trying to cut down on the carbs. But you can put cheese in with the mashed cauliflower as well ;)

You are more than welcome to pick my brains about stuff you can eat involving substantially less carbohydrate, since as you know this has been my lot for the past few months. Can't help much with the pizza, though (unless you only eat the toppings)

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

I was ambushed by the pizza. We hadn't allowed for the fact that our favourite Indian Takeaway would be closed for Diwali!

Any ideas you might have would be welcome!

[bibliogirl.livejournal.com]

Well, if you start off by cutting down on potatoes, rice and bread you'll be onto a good start. It might be worth waiting for blood test results before doing anything more spectacular -- in particular if you turn out to be diabetic and they put you on medication for it, you will need to rethink the carbs again. Also, my cholesterol (etc) is OK (at the moment) so I feel I can get away with eating plenty of cheese and the like, but this may not work for everyone ;)

Lentils are good. Protein is good. Antony Worrall-Thompson's GI cookbook is also good (I shifted from low-GI to low-carb because it suited me better, but you may find low-GI is a better match for you)

[november-girl.livejournal.com]

Pasta is bad too, I believe. Sucks, doesn't it?

[bibliogirl.livejournal.com]

Yup -- pasta as well (I'd momentarily forgotten that one)

[bluesman.livejournal.com]

Yes. 'Cycling (even in one spot) is very beneficial. Actually 'cycling to somewhere is even better. I did it for years, in London and then through Beautiful Downtown San Bernardino, and it did wonders for my cardio-vascular system.

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

If I still lived in Shropshire, I'd go for the bike option - I used to love my old Raleigh. My nerves (or back bone, take your choice) wouldn't let me cycle through the lunacy that is London. I elect, therefore to have an exercise bike in my bedroom where I can watch telly, read a book or listen to King Crimson as the mood takes me.

[bluesman.livejournal.com]

You have not truly lived dangerously until you have 'cycled through the financial district at lunch time. You get to find out how deeply murderous are the drivers of London buses and taxis.