To sleep, perchance to dream...
Monday, September 1st, 2003 10:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
caddymanI have just wrassled an old mattress downstairs and a new one up.
I think I finally understand why my sleep patterns have been so disrupted over the past few months. The old mattress was infact an old WWII straw palliasse with a Colditz escaper in it. It is the only possible explanation for the exceptionally knobbly and strangely heavy thing that I moved down three flights of stairs. I say I moved it - at times it pretty much moved itself in a sort of Raiders of the Lost Ark sort of way.
Anyway, I managed to get it down to the ground floor, at which point the mysterious and elderly Mrs Z, my Polish landlady, appeared out of the shadows. "Don't leave it outside" she tells me, pointing at my escaping POW (she is 85, and probably has first hand experience of escaping the odd stalag, so it seemed wise to take her advice). Luckily I had decided to wait until it was dark. Actually I waited until after Andromeda which despite last week's diatribe, I find oddly compelling (Mmmm....Lexa Doig... >ahem<). In any case, the upshot was that it was now dark and there were few casual passers-by to watch me manhandling this bloody mattress down the street.
Still, the weight and sheer cussedness of the bloody thing eventually overcame my resolve, and three doors down they will wake up tomorrow morning and find a tatty old mattress leaning at a jaunty angle against their dustbin.
I feel a little bit guilty as I type this, but should I discover that the bottom of the mattress has been cut open and there's a trail of straw across the street, I shall be happy.
For my POW shall have escaped, and in a couple of months, Giod willing, I shall receive a coded postcard and some choccies from Switzerland.
Of course, if it's recaptured, I'll have some explaining to do, for there is a new mattress on my bed, now, and I shall have to explain not only how the old one escaped but how the new one got in.
Appel tomorrow morning will be the first test.
I think I finally understand why my sleep patterns have been so disrupted over the past few months. The old mattress was infact an old WWII straw palliasse with a Colditz escaper in it. It is the only possible explanation for the exceptionally knobbly and strangely heavy thing that I moved down three flights of stairs. I say I moved it - at times it pretty much moved itself in a sort of Raiders of the Lost Ark sort of way.
Anyway, I managed to get it down to the ground floor, at which point the mysterious and elderly Mrs Z, my Polish landlady, appeared out of the shadows. "Don't leave it outside" she tells me, pointing at my escaping POW (she is 85, and probably has first hand experience of escaping the odd stalag, so it seemed wise to take her advice). Luckily I had decided to wait until it was dark. Actually I waited until after Andromeda which despite last week's diatribe, I find oddly compelling (Mmmm....Lexa Doig... >ahem<). In any case, the upshot was that it was now dark and there were few casual passers-by to watch me manhandling this bloody mattress down the street.
Still, the weight and sheer cussedness of the bloody thing eventually overcame my resolve, and three doors down they will wake up tomorrow morning and find a tatty old mattress leaning at a jaunty angle against their dustbin.
I feel a little bit guilty as I type this, but should I discover that the bottom of the mattress has been cut open and there's a trail of straw across the street, I shall be happy.
For my POW shall have escaped, and in a couple of months, Giod willing, I shall receive a coded postcard and some choccies from Switzerland.
Of course, if it's recaptured, I'll have some explaining to do, for there is a new mattress on my bed, now, and I shall have to explain not only how the old one escaped but how the new one got in.
Appel tomorrow morning will be the first test.
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(no subject)
Date: 2003-09-01 02:33 pm (UTC)Anyweay, it deserves its freedom.