Argh!!

Wednesday, July 15th, 2009 10:56 am
caddyman: (I've had enough of this!)
[personal profile] caddyman
St Swithin’s Day only applies to weather, right? Reassure me, someone; anyone?

I travelled in to work today in a tube train crammed with five and six year old kids. Seven to elevens are fine, they are loud and enthusiastic, but tend to group into little corners and giggle. Twelve to fourteen, still loud, but less enthusiastic: tending to smell of milk biscuits. Post fourteen, quiet and blessedly sullen; much BO and acne. Unless, of course, they are holding up the train and demanding money with menaces.

The little kids though, should not be let out in groups larger than four. It’s all an adventure and this musty be demonstrated in the loudest and most ebullient manner possible, preferably by bouncing on seats, having squealing competitions. Their voices are pitched just right to fray your nerves along their entire length and they have infinite lung capacity, so the ululation is continuous. The teachers are unable to cope. The male teachers are too timid and weedy; the female teachers, having squeezed their size forty arses into size twenty seats are effectively immobilised. The student teachers think it’s all great fun and that the kids should be allowed to express themselves. The kids themselves are like an invasion of Martians except that they are annoyingly immune to many of the bacteria that kill aliens, being the source of those self-same bacteria.

One of these days they’ll get a fifty year old expressing himself.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-07-15 10:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fencingsculptor.livejournal.com
I look forward to the news headline :

"Communter maces class 5 infants on Tube and has Tears off a strip from Miss"

(no subject)

Date: 2009-07-15 10:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] caddyman.livejournal.com
I'm not clear what that headline says...

(no subject)

Date: 2009-07-15 10:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snorkel-maiden.livejournal.com
Urgh. Campus is currently full of spotty youths rampaging around trashing the shop and asking us all to buy them fags as they are too young. Who blimmin invented school trips anyway?
(deleted comment)

(no subject)

Date: 2009-07-15 10:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] littleonionz.livejournal.com
Indeed nature does imbue them with the 'help protect me noise' however some are too finely tuned and when they joyously let rip you just want to strangle them. I know my son is one of them. Not the girl, her loudness didn't make you feel like someone was jabbing a hot wire into your ear, so I pity you your fraught journey. Of course if it was just happy loud then meh, if you can't shout for joy in public at the sheer excitement of being on a train! when you are wee, when can you?:)

(no subject)

Date: 2009-07-15 11:20 am (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2009-07-15 12:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bluesman.livejournal.com
My mum must have been the expressive fifty-year-old teacher type. She taught junior school kids, between 8 and 11, and woe betide those kids who made a nuisance of themselves while in her charge, especially in public on a school trip.

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