Further ramblings of a self-made pauper

Well kids, I don't know what I will be doing tomorrow, but I do know what I shan't.

It is one of those weekends. London will be full to bursting point as both Live 8 and Gay Pride kick off. Oh, and let's not forget Wimbledon either. Tomorrow is the women's finals and the men's semi-finals. And then there's all the general gubbins that goes on anyway in a bustling metropolis such as the Smoke.

Don't events organisers ever speak to each other?

I think that there are only two other weekends they could have picked to ensure maximum frustration for the average punter, and they would be Carnival weekend at the end of August, or the last full weekend immediately prior to Christmas.

I have instituted a personal exclusion zone which includes all areas within six miles of Charing Cross. This neatly allows me the option of going to Finchley if I want, but rules out the centre of London and the West End.

I wish all events and all attendees well. Have the time of your lives; enjoy the entertainments on offer. It will be busy, crowded, hectic and frustrating.

I'll probably stay in bed.