Further ramblings of a self-made pauper

Well it seems that one decision has been made for me. I had been putting it off for a month or two, but now I don’t think I can. This is the trouble with dentistry – once you get involved with them it’s a domino effect inside your mouth. They either find new things to pay for putting their kids through college, or leave little dental time bombs so you volunteer to pay them the money they need to put their kids through college. Either way, Gentle Reader, the loser is most decidedly not the dentist.

Having – you should forgive the phrase – bitten the bullet and gone to the dentists for the first time in many years, I have had two fillings and one extraction. The decision I have been putting off is whether to pay £400 for a crown that they cannot guarantee or simply have that tooth extracted too, leaving me with a corking gap on the left. Long-time readers will know that I have a fear of dentistry; an atavistic horror that has only partially been assuaged by recent experiences. Despite this, I was leaning toward the expensive gamble of the crown that may not take. I don’t really want more gaps than I need. Sadly, finances may mean that I have to go for a simple extraction.

Last night there was a twinge in the tooth in question. Not enough to disturb me badly and certainly not enough to keep me awake last night, but during the day today there has been the occasional throb - not a continuous ache, but certainly the odd wave of ache. I have been to Boots and purchased my favourite paracetamol and codeine painkillers just to keep it under control. I’ll see how it goes for the next couple of days, but if it keeps up I shall have to pay a visit again. With the move I cannot afford a crown, so the cavernous gap on the left it may well be.

Bum.

It seems the office server is in one of its moods again. The NWO forum is notoriously slow in responding at the best of times, and over the past couple of days it has just timed out when I have tried to access it from work. Home access is more forgiving, and it will eventually let me take a look, or post a message - but not, generally until I think it's not going to.

This sluggishness is symptomatic of my existence at the moment. I am going through one of my periodic lacks of enthusiasm for just about everything. I have no energy: I am always tired and I'd be quite happy vegging in front of the telly. Even, sad to say, Richard and Judy wouldn't be enough to bestir me in this mood.

I can't think of a word to describe the mood. I'm not depressed or upset or annoyed or anything like that. It's more a kind of aggressive apathy; Meh with knobs, on as it were. I think I need a holiday, but I can't afford one; I seem to be leaking money at an alarming rate, but I'm not enjoying myself doing it. I am going to have to look at the old finances carefully over the next couple of months. Sad to say, I am not sure that I can afford the luxury of living in the Athenaeum Club. Until and unless I can find savings elsewhere, that monthly rent plus other bills (but primarily the rent)is like a millstone around my financial neck. I know DT sans LJ doesn't find the expenditure easy either.

As much as we like the space at our disposal, I'm not sure that it's a luxury we can afford. I'm not certain that the situation is tenable in the long term.

But what's pissing me off right now, is not being able to log on to the NWO boards. The bastard things never seem to work properly, and the amount of data that was lost when they fell over last time...

Time, I think, for more coffee. Then I shall pop down to the smoking room for a few minutes. Give me an hour or so and I'll be all cheered up again. I can't maintain these moods for long.