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Fools and tooth pain (tra-la)
Thursday, March 16th, 2006 10:12 amI am finding it rather hard to concentrate at this precise moment. I have just had the last bite of my egg and bacon sandwich ruined by the fact that I forgot to be careful how I chew. Granary bread is lethal when you have a broken tooth, and the force the little bastard grains can be pushed into a cavity through the simple act of chewing is impressive.
Suffice it to say that the entire side of my face is currently a sea of tooth pain - to the extent that my left eye is watering uncontrollably.
And up until then I was in a good mood (I'm not really in a bad mood now, but the edge has gone from the day until the paracetamol and codeine kicks in).
Outside Victoria Station this morning, there were (probably still are) a couple of dozen blokes giving goodie bags away to women. I didn't notice who or what the promotion was for, but there were big boxes everywhere, and a lot of distributors. They do this from time to time. Sometimes it's a promotion for women, sometimes for men, other times everybody gets one.
This morning, one poor bloke was the object of the ire of a short middle-aged man with a squeaky voice. I suspect he collects stamps, neatly folds his laundry 'just so' and lives with his elderly mum. "You're breaking the law" he whined. "You cannot discriminate of the grounds of sex, race or religion!"
I thought the poor sod he was talking to managed to ignore him quite well; for me it would have been a machete moment, and seeing that we aren't allowed to dice over-excitable, mithering short-arses in this country, I should have practiced a prolonged and indelicate use of the English language directly into his red and portly little face.
Of course, if I'd eaten my bacon sandwich at that point, I'd have just lamped the little bugger. I could do with the endorphin rush. It's not as if he would have been any less mystified by the contents of these goodie bags than any other male on the planet. Still, it's encouraging to know that London can hold its own in the annoying little numpty stakes.
Ahhh... the pain is subsiding; my goodwill is returning...
But I'd still have lamped the little prat.
Suffice it to say that the entire side of my face is currently a sea of tooth pain - to the extent that my left eye is watering uncontrollably.
And up until then I was in a good mood (I'm not really in a bad mood now, but the edge has gone from the day until the paracetamol and codeine kicks in).
Outside Victoria Station this morning, there were (probably still are) a couple of dozen blokes giving goodie bags away to women. I didn't notice who or what the promotion was for, but there were big boxes everywhere, and a lot of distributors. They do this from time to time. Sometimes it's a promotion for women, sometimes for men, other times everybody gets one.
This morning, one poor bloke was the object of the ire of a short middle-aged man with a squeaky voice. I suspect he collects stamps, neatly folds his laundry 'just so' and lives with his elderly mum. "You're breaking the law" he whined. "You cannot discriminate of the grounds of sex, race or religion!"
I thought the poor sod he was talking to managed to ignore him quite well; for me it would have been a machete moment, and seeing that we aren't allowed to dice over-excitable, mithering short-arses in this country, I should have practiced a prolonged and indelicate use of the English language directly into his red and portly little face.
Of course, if I'd eaten my bacon sandwich at that point, I'd have just lamped the little bugger. I could do with the endorphin rush. It's not as if he would have been any less mystified by the contents of these goodie bags than any other male on the planet. Still, it's encouraging to know that London can hold its own in the annoying little numpty stakes.
Ahhh... the pain is subsiding; my goodwill is returning...
But I'd still have lamped the little prat.
