Kill, murder, maim - see harm
Friday, June 13th, 2003 11:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
caddymanI have just had a Positively 4th Street moment. (Bob Dylan fans will know what I mean).
Right now there is a person I should dearly like to skewer like a kebab and roast slowly on an open fire. I haven't decided on whether he needs basting, yet. Probably.
Still, calm, calm, calm.
In an hour I shall be content with mere evisceration, an hour after that a simple flaying will do. As the day passes and he keeps out of my way I shall probably lower my demands progressively through the iron maiden and wrack, to a simple pressing.
By early afternoon, I shall be content to administer a merciful beheading.
As things are, though, and given that all those fabulous old Anglo-Saxon laws have long since dropped out of use, I daresay a stiffly worded e-mail will have to do.
Sometimes civilisation just ain't what it's cracked up to be.
Right now there is a person I should dearly like to skewer like a kebab and roast slowly on an open fire. I haven't decided on whether he needs basting, yet. Probably.
Still, calm, calm, calm.
In an hour I shall be content with mere evisceration, an hour after that a simple flaying will do. As the day passes and he keeps out of my way I shall probably lower my demands progressively through the iron maiden and wrack, to a simple pressing.
By early afternoon, I shall be content to administer a merciful beheading.
As things are, though, and given that all those fabulous old Anglo-Saxon laws have long since dropped out of use, I daresay a stiffly worded e-mail will have to do.
Sometimes civilisation just ain't what it's cracked up to be.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2003-06-13 03:25 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-06-13 03:56 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-06-13 05:42 am (UTC)Might I suggest the Purdey sir?
Date: 2003-06-13 05:50 am (UTC)Re: Might I suggest the Purdey sir?
Date: 2003-06-13 07:10 am (UTC)I discard him.
A purdey is altogether too elegant a method of despatch, but thank you for the suggestion.
Inserting a Lewis Machine Gun might be fun, though. And if properly done it would act as an excellent flash-suppressant, too.
Our Boys in the trenches didn't call it the Belgian Rattlesnake for nothing, you know.
Re: Might I suggest the Purdey sir?
Date: 2003-06-13 11:12 am (UTC)