Dumm dum dum dum-de dum

Our office IT is making a further bid for special needs treatment. The email system is coughing up blood again, as it has all week. I can see dozens of headers but cannot download the contents and guess what? Today is a deadline for us and some of those emails will be asking for urgent extensions. That’s no problem as such, but details vary and I cannot find any of them out or indeed notify people of the action taken (even if I can take the action, which I can’t – this is all endlessly recursive).

In the meantime, our new desk phones have arrived. I can dial out, but I have to log on to register my extension number to this particular handset –it’s the SpaceFlex way.

My extension number has, of course, changed. Everybody’s has changed. The exchange has changed. I cannot download the email with the details of the procedure and I cannot dial out to people to explain because I cannot look up their numbers, which are on the emails. It’s going to be one of those days.

In the meantime, it seems the Department décor is moving to what can only be called Jackboot Kitsch. The chairs are black, the computers are black and now the telephones are black. There is definitely a whiff of the Palpatine Imperium around here. But the lockers are playschool pastel in orange and white, clashing with a blue/green carpet; it’s sort of ‘happy clappy, cuddles, kick in the face décor. Talk about mixed messages.

See where my mind goes when I can’t access email.

Dumm dum dum dum-de dum

Our office IT is making a further bid for special needs treatment. The email system is coughing up blood again, as it has all week. I can see dozens of headers but cannot download the contents and guess what? Today is a deadline for us and some of those emails will be asking for urgent extensions. That’s no problem as such, but details vary and I cannot find any of them out or indeed notify people of the action taken (even if I can take the action, which I can’t – this is all endlessly recursive).

In the meantime, our new desk phones have arrived. I can dial out, but I have to log on to register my extension number to this particular handset –it’s the SpaceFlex way.

My extension number has, of course, changed. Everybody’s has changed. The exchange has changed. I cannot download the email with the details of the procedure and I cannot dial out to people to explain because I cannot look up their numbers, which are on the emails. It’s going to be one of those days.

In the meantime, it seems the Department décor is moving to what can only be called Jackboot Kitsch. The chairs are black, the computers are black and now the telephones are black. There is definitely a whiff of the Palpatine Imperium around here. But the lockers are playschool pastel in orange and white, clashing with a blue/green carpet; it’s sort of ‘happy clappy, cuddles, kick in the face décor. Talk about mixed messages.

See where my mind goes when I can’t access email.

An oldie, but a goldie...

The following have all appeared in church magazines so let us thank God for church ladies with typewriters.

--------------------------
Next weekend's Fasting & Prayer Conference in Whitby includes all meals.
--------------------------
Sunday morning sermon: 'Jesus Walks on the Water'
Sunday evening sermon: 'Searching for Jesus.'
--------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
--------------------------
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
Smile at someone who is hard to love.
Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
--------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation .
--------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
--------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
--------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice
--------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
--------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
--------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
--------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
--------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
--------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
--------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
--------------------------
The school drama group will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church hall on Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
--------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
--------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours!'

An oldie, but a goldie...

The following have all appeared in church magazines so let us thank God for church ladies with typewriters.

--------------------------
Next weekend's Fasting & Prayer Conference in Whitby includes all meals.
--------------------------
Sunday morning sermon: 'Jesus Walks on the Water'
Sunday evening sermon: 'Searching for Jesus.'
--------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
--------------------------
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
Smile at someone who is hard to love.
Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
--------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation .
--------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
--------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
--------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice
--------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
--------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
--------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
--------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
--------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
--------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
--------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
--------------------------
The school drama group will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church hall on Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
--------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
--------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours!'

Lennon

It has just occurred to me that had he lived, today would have been John Lennon's 69th birthday. That makes me feel old; God alone knows how it would have made him feel! I wonder if he would still have been recording, or whether he would have given it a few more years after his 1980 comeback and then gone into retirement without becoming the recluse he was between 1976 and early 1980...



9 October 1940 - 8 December 1980

Lennon

It has just occurred to me that had he lived, today would have been John Lennon's 69th birthday. That makes me feel old; God alone knows how it would have made him feel! I wonder if he would still have been recording, or whether he would have given it a few more years after his 1980 comeback and then gone into retirement without becoming the recluse he was between 1976 and early 1980...



9 October 1940 - 8 December 1980