Bombs away!

[caddyman]

It’s all rather quiet here at the moment. Almost everyone else has trouped off to the khazi or the tea point as part of the bomb shelter exercise. This was announced over the tannoy by a man with a reassuringly Teutonic accent: “Vor you Tommy ze exercise iss oafer”. Witness the last of my diversity points trickling off down the drain.

I believe that everyone has now gone down to the basement shelters, following a second announcement. ”Do knott use ze stairs in Core B. I emm repeating: Do knott use ze stairs in Core B. You vill comply!”

You will note that I am resolutely remaining at my desk. I refuse to cluster for ten to fifteen minutes in a smelly, over crowded khazi while the Department tries to recreate in miniature the Black Hole of Calcutta; if there is ever a real bomb alert, I already know where the shelters are; hiding under my desk and kissing my arse goodbye is every bit as effective and was recommended practice for nuclear alerts in the 50s and 60s, so should be fine for a couple of dozen pounds of semtex; and the entire thing is voluntary anyway.

Give me a good fire drill any day. That’s a far more likely occurrence, we get to go outside for some fresh air and can nip into Starbucks or similar for a chat and a Danish.

I hear the voices of other dissenters across the floor somewhere. I am masked from them by filing cabinets.

Additional: The exercise is now over and no-one, not a single person came to check that the building was empty. I was waiting to tell them that the bomb had deafened me. A wasted opportunity.

Comments

[sack-boy.livejournal.com]

We had an evacuation drill[1] a few weeks back, and apparently it was a shambles. An email was sent a week in advance outlining everything, there were posters up in all 6 lifts and on notice boards on every floor. People wouldn't leave, other people got their meeting room booking changed to another building,once chap bimbled up from the basement loos claiming to a) not know that there was a drill and b) have not heard any alarms[2], one of the evacuation routes was blocked[3] as advertised, and most people had no clue where the assembly point was and so just milled around outside the building.

I was, unfortunately, away for a weekend of mud and so missed it - as was the other Evacuation Officer for this section, as was the person we briefed to cover us in our absence. I suspect that, if I had been there, my patch would have been the only lot that would have got to the designated assembly point[4].

[1] it's no longer a fire drill, as no doubt there are other reasons for us to need to leave the building

[2] including the one in the chap's loos, or the one in the chap's showers in the room next door

[3] by a burly security type chap

[4] conveniently close to a sandwich bar and a pub ...

[ash1977law.livejournal.com]

Other reasons for us to need to leave the building
Passing ice-cream van?

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

He makes a fair point, Mike. Well-rounded and fully thought out¹.


¹The point. Not me.

[sack-boy.livejournal.com]

An ice-cream does in fact have a "pitch" just up the side of the Fields, which just so happens to be where we are supposed to assemble anyway!

Obviously foresight.

Witness the last of my diversity points trickling off down the drain.

[irdm.livejournal.com]

I would have thought you were eminently diverse, with a jocular(*) appelation for most of these 'Types' (as I believe they are called?)

(* - and of course, sometimes Jock-ular. Or is he a tartan vampire?....)