Bombs away!
Friday, September 26th, 2008 11:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
caddymanIt’s all rather quiet here at the moment. Almost everyone else has trouped off to the khazi or the tea point as part of the bomb shelter exercise. This was announced over the tannoy by a man with a reassuringly Teutonic accent: “Vor you Tommy ze exercise iss oafer”. Witness the last of my diversity points trickling off down the drain.
I believe that everyone has now gone down to the basement shelters, following a second announcement. ”Do knott use ze stairs in Core B. I emm repeating: Do knott use ze stairs in Core B. You vill comply!”
You will note that I am resolutely remaining at my desk. I refuse to cluster for ten to fifteen minutes in a smelly, over crowded khazi while the Department tries to recreate in miniature the Black Hole of Calcutta; if there is ever a real bomb alert, I already know where the shelters are; hiding under my desk and kissing my arse goodbye is every bit as effective and was recommended practice for nuclear alerts in the 50s and 60s, so should be fine for a couple of dozen pounds of semtex; and the entire thing is voluntary anyway.
Give me a good fire drill any day. That’s a far more likely occurrence, we get to go outside for some fresh air and can nip into Starbucks or similar for a chat and a Danish.
I hear the voices of other dissenters across the floor somewhere. I am masked from them by filing cabinets.
Additional: The exercise is now over and no-one, not a single person came to check that the building was empty. I was waiting to tell them that the bomb had deafened me. A wasted opportunity.
I believe that everyone has now gone down to the basement shelters, following a second announcement. ”Do knott use ze stairs in Core B. I emm repeating: Do knott use ze stairs in Core B. You vill comply!”
You will note that I am resolutely remaining at my desk. I refuse to cluster for ten to fifteen minutes in a smelly, over crowded khazi while the Department tries to recreate in miniature the Black Hole of Calcutta; if there is ever a real bomb alert, I already know where the shelters are; hiding under my desk and kissing my arse goodbye is every bit as effective and was recommended practice for nuclear alerts in the 50s and 60s, so should be fine for a couple of dozen pounds of semtex; and the entire thing is voluntary anyway.
Give me a good fire drill any day. That’s a far more likely occurrence, we get to go outside for some fresh air and can nip into Starbucks or similar for a chat and a Danish.
I hear the voices of other dissenters across the floor somewhere. I am masked from them by filing cabinets.
Additional: The exercise is now over and no-one, not a single person came to check that the building was empty. I was waiting to tell them that the bomb had deafened me. A wasted opportunity.
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(no subject)
Date: 2008-09-26 11:28 am (UTC)Passing ice-cream van?
(no subject)
Date: 2008-09-26 11:38 am (UTC)1The point. Not me.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-09-26 01:55 pm (UTC)Obviously foresight.