Russian humour

[caddyman]

Another Russian, who may or may not understand English - I certainly don't understand Russian, has added me to their friends list.

As a matter of interest, I cut and pasted their current entry into Google Translate just to see what they were talking about. It turns out to be a Russian joke.The original and the Google translation are here:

Подходит маленький мальчик к милиционеру и спрашивает:
- Скажите, дядя милиционер, а зачем у вас на фуражке вот этот хлястик пришит?
Милиционер, гордо расправив плечи, отвечает:
- Понимаешь, малыш, Когда мы гонимся за преступником на машине, я высовываюсь из окна, чтобы стрелять, а на бороду опускаю хлястик, чтобы фуражка не слетела. Вот.
- Понимаю, - говорит малыш, - А папа мне рассказывал, что хлястик нужен для того, чтобы у вас хавальник не разнесло, когда в свисток дуете...

Which Google translates thusly:

Fits a little boy to a policeman and asked:
- Say Uncle policeman, why you have to cap this one strap sewn?
The policeman, proudly straightening his shoulders, replied:
- You know, baby, when we are chasing a criminal on the car, I lean out of windows to shoot, but to omit the beard strap that cap did not fall. Here.
- I understand, - said the baby - A father told me that the strap is needed to ensure that you have havalnik not blown when a whistle duet ...

Laugh? I still didn't understand it.

But I begin to understand why I never see pictures of Russians smiling...

Comments

[failing-angel.livejournal.com]

Ah, the old "havalnik not blown", it's a wonderful old gag

[petrusplancius.livejournal.com]

Another translation:

Approaches small boy the militiaman and he asks: - Say, uncle militiaman, and why in you on the peak cap here this strap is sewn? Militiaman, having proudly straightened arms, answers: - You understand, little-one, when we is persecuted after the criminal in the machine, I am put out from the window in order to shoot, and to the beard I lower strap so that the peak cap would not fly off. Here. - I understand, says little-one, A dad me told, that the strap was necessary so that in you [khavalnik] it would not spread, when into the whistle you blow…

A bit clearer in places, but the whole joke obviously turns on this word khavalnik/havalnik, and the machines don't seem to recognize it, maybe it's too slangy.

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

The trouble is, the closer a translation we get without that word, the more tantalisng it becomes.

Tantalising, but not necessarily funny. I susopect you need the full Siberian Salt Mine experience to enjoy it with the full range of nuances...

[petrusplancius.livejournal.com]

Machines are not too hot on comic timing either.

[phil99.livejournal.com]

This leads me to think the punchline is roughly "I was told that the strap was so that when you blow the whistle, the hat wouldn't come off your head".

[failing-angel.livejournal.com]

On a similar note, it reminds me of the (apocryphal?) story of the Russian translator at the UN - "Out of sight, out of mind" was translated into "Blind and insane"

[phil99.livejournal.com]

Hear it spoken here for added seriousness:
http://tts.imtranslator.net/CIXV

[bluesman.livejournal.com]

Ah, Russian zen humour, doncha love it?

[november-girl.livejournal.com]

It's not just that they're never pcitured smiling - there's a fair proportion who are actively freaked out by it. ephraim and I amused ourselves by randomly smiling at people in Moscow and watching how they quickly looked away and hurried off. Kinda fun, like saying "thank you" to New York shop assistants.

[petrusplancius.livejournal.com]

Courtesy of someone at linguaphiles, I have obtained a translation of the punchline:

"I see", says the boy, "And my father told me you need a chin strap so that your muzzle doesn't crack when you blow the whistle."

Hilarious, isn't it?

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

I now understand the lure of Siberian salt mines...