Carb conundrum
Tuesday, August 8th, 2006 05:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
caddymanI may have been a little unwise.
We had a branch meeting this afternoon – a weekly occurrence – and the gaffer brought in doughnuts. This happens from time to time and we all rather appreciate it. Normally he just nips in to Sainsbury’s and purchases a box of their rather chewy jam doughnuts. Today he went to Krispy Kreme
Now there is something about a Krispy Kreme doughnut that is unlike just about any other doughnut on earth. I mean quite apart from the wide selection of fillings and icings &c. The actual dough bit is different, too. I am not sure what they do to them or what they are made from, but they are quite clearly different.
I think my mistake was to go back for a second, given that there were spares.
The first doughnut was, to all intents and purposes a straight forward jam one with icing on. As is natural to its kind, it was oval and there was a hint of red at one end, revealing a hint of the jammy goodness inside. The thing is, I am not sure that red stuff was jam. I mean it tasted well, red. I am pretty sure that you are not supposed to be able to identify colour by taste. The doughnut itself was comparatively crisp on the outside yet chewy on the inside, like some bloated legless bug1. I am more than half sure that it cunningly avoided most if not all of the major food groups, which considering that I have a rather lax definition of same, is saying something.
I should have left it there, but a little later in the afternoon, I discovered that there was one left. A strange brown ring confection with the shape and consistency of a puckered turd2. I am not sure what it was made from either; it was more cakey than doughy. I think chemical waste may have been involved.
Now it would be pushing it to suggest that I can see through time and space having eaten these items, but there is a quite distinct prism effect around objects more than a couple of yards away, and my hands are buzzing just short of the speed needed to phase through solid matter. I think I must be on the tail end of the sugar rush from Hell.
I may dispense with dinner tonight, or restrict myself to a TUC biscuit before bed.
1Which, sadly, is not unlike I feel at the moment.
2With 20/20 hindsight, that should have been warning enough.
We had a branch meeting this afternoon – a weekly occurrence – and the gaffer brought in doughnuts. This happens from time to time and we all rather appreciate it. Normally he just nips in to Sainsbury’s and purchases a box of their rather chewy jam doughnuts. Today he went to Krispy Kreme
Now there is something about a Krispy Kreme doughnut that is unlike just about any other doughnut on earth. I mean quite apart from the wide selection of fillings and icings &c. The actual dough bit is different, too. I am not sure what they do to them or what they are made from, but they are quite clearly different.
I think my mistake was to go back for a second, given that there were spares.
The first doughnut was, to all intents and purposes a straight forward jam one with icing on. As is natural to its kind, it was oval and there was a hint of red at one end, revealing a hint of the jammy goodness inside. The thing is, I am not sure that red stuff was jam. I mean it tasted well, red. I am pretty sure that you are not supposed to be able to identify colour by taste. The doughnut itself was comparatively crisp on the outside yet chewy on the inside, like some bloated legless bug1. I am more than half sure that it cunningly avoided most if not all of the major food groups, which considering that I have a rather lax definition of same, is saying something.
I should have left it there, but a little later in the afternoon, I discovered that there was one left. A strange brown ring confection with the shape and consistency of a puckered turd2. I am not sure what it was made from either; it was more cakey than doughy. I think chemical waste may have been involved.
Now it would be pushing it to suggest that I can see through time and space having eaten these items, but there is a quite distinct prism effect around objects more than a couple of yards away, and my hands are buzzing just short of the speed needed to phase through solid matter. I think I must be on the tail end of the sugar rush from Hell.
I may dispense with dinner tonight, or restrict myself to a TUC biscuit before bed.
1Which, sadly, is not unlike I feel at the moment.
2With 20/20 hindsight, that should have been warning enough.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-08 05:21 pm (UTC)Their principal advantage is that you can buy them drive-thru [sic], thus cpsare yourself thhe inconvenience of going into a shop.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-08 07:09 pm (UTC)What I've read is, they expanded too rapidly, and in venues in which the donuts could not be served fresh, and so got a bad name for themselves. Krispy Kreme donuts are best eaten without any fancy toppings and hot out of the oven, and the original franchises had a sign outdoors that would light up when a new batch was out, but a year or two ago they put up a stand of day-old ones in my local supermarket. It used to be this mysterious kind of donut that you could only get in the south and transplants would reminisce about them, and then suddenly they were everywhere, and not very good. I'm still a big fan (we have a proper store way the hell and gone north of where I live, and every once in a while some kind soul will bring some down to the South Side), but you've got to re-heat them if they're not fresh, and there's no reason for there to be any kind other than plain.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-08 07:20 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-09 01:05 pm (UTC)