Further ramblings of a self-made pauper

Mungry.

I wasn’t a few minutes ago, but now I am. I just wandered over to the tea point to recharge my coffee mug for the next half hour or so before lunch and I was confronted by the sight of a bloke carefully – nay, painstakingly building a baguette. This looked to be a work of art in the making and he was layering on Parma Ham. I couldn’t see past him to see what other goodies there were to be applied to this morsel. Perhaps they were still in the fridge. I hope there’s cheese, and not cheddar (worthy though it is); something hard and fruity – a berkswell, perhaps, with a little cress or rocket to finish it off.

Me stomick’s rumbling…

Now see, this is what I am talking about.

I had a decent breakfast - a hearty bowl of cerial with milk, no sugar and a cup of coffee. Nothing too heavy or lardy, but with ostensibly enough fuel to keep me going until lunchtime, when I get to scoff a sarnie and some fruit.

Just now, though I am starving. My stomach thinks my throat's been cut. But I know that if I eat an ounce of anything, my metabolism will use it to create a pound of additional weight, because that's how it works.

Intelligent Design my arse.

Bugger.

I remembered to bring my lunch with me today and I've eaten it. Very nice, very tasty.

I am still hungry. In fact I am now hungrier than I was before I are lunch. I am now going out to investigate the purchase of a cafetiere. I may come back with a cafetiere stuffed with bread products. I may come back with just the bread products...

Ye Gods, but I'm starving. I shall now nip out and purchase suitable sustenance.

I have been drinking my coffee black all morning, in an attempt to see if the removal of an additional pint of semi-skimmed milk from my daily diet will have any effect. I may not live long enough to notice the effect on my waistline, but damn it, take away that constant drip-drip-drip of calories during the morning and I am suitably ravenous!

Something baguetty and chewy, I think.

Today is notable for two things: firstly it is my first working day of 2008; my fortnight’s Christmas and New Year holiday has evaporated like ice in the Sahara. Secondly, it is the first day of Furtle’s and my attempt to lose weight and get if not fitter, at least healthier.

The first order of business on the health front was to have a “proper” breakfast this morning and not buy sandwiches when I got to the office. So that was a coffee as usual, a bowl of cornflakes – must remember to get some sugar to sprinkle on it (not a lot, just a small sprinkle) and a banana. That was great at the time (or would have been with just a bit of sugar on the cornflakes), but I have been hungry ever since. I expect that I shall have eaten my computer by the time lunch time comes around.

I have bought some apples and bananas for this week’s lunches. I hope they work; I am not a great fan of fruit. I like the idea better than the reality. I can eat an apple, enjoy it and not feel the need for another for the next ten years. Bananas are a little different in that respect as I can happily eat them more frequently. Other fruits leave me cold: I like raspberries, but usually as an adjunct to something else. Ditto strawberries. Grapes are pretty much tasteless and unsatisfying, cherries more so. Pears are OK, but come under the same category as apples except that once every 15 years is quite sufficient. Oranges are good for juice.

Let’s face it, fruit and vegetables are dreary. Even the ones I like, I don’t like enough to eat them in quantity or on their own. I can see that this is going to take some effort and will power.

I can’t see me ditching the snus anytime soon. I don’t drink much and I’ve not smoked since the beginning of May. I need one vice, especially if I am going to do without most of the food I like.

Blimey.

I only just woke up 10 minutes ago...

Need food...